Lameazoid.com Rotating Header Image

Video Games

Review – Poker Night at the Inventory (PC)

Poker Night at the Inventory Title

Telltale Games | Nov 22, 2010

So Telltale games, makers of something like 90% of the Adventure games on the market (maybe) had an interesting idea. Why not take the idea of computer poker, and instead of playing against made up kooky PC characters you don’t recognizes, why not throw in a cast of known characters from popular games and nerd sites.

Thus, you end up with Poker Night at the Inventory. You play poker against Tycho from Penny-Arcade, The Heavy, of Team Fortress 2 Fame, Telltale’s defacto mascot, Max, from the Sam & max series, and Strong Bad from the popular web series Homestar Runner. I didn’t even realize Homestar Runner was still around personally but hey, whatevs.

The Poker part of the game is limited to Texas Hold Em style poker. It’s not a game style I’d played recently, most of my Poker experience is in Draw Poker. It’s not too difficult once you get the hand of it though I find the game is based a little more on chance than I care for. This brings up Poker Night’s biggest flaw. Texas Hold Em, as near as I can tell, is very much a game of bluffing. This could be pretty interesting with real humans to compete against since you can “read” them or whatever. When you’re playing against a bunch of computer controlled AIs, this thrill is almost non existent. The characters do have some built in little stories and tells but everything really just seems to be randomly played. It’s not real obvious who is bluffing and who has something.

This also works the other way. It’s pretty much impossible to truly bluff the PC AI. The closest I’ve found is that shoving your entire pot in at once will cause all of the characters to gasp and often will force them to fold. Often, but not always, and they will almost just as often bet it all and go bust with nothing. Someone needs to tell the AI that calling a bluff when you have even a pair is risky but doable, but calling a massive bluff with “queen high” then going bust is kind of a stupid move.

Speaking of the table chatter though. It gets old. There was a bug on the initial release that caused the dialogue to not be as random as it was supposed to be, but even with that bug fixed, hearing the same 2 or 3 stories out of the 4 characters gets a little old.

So you don’t have the risk of real money poker, but you do get the monotony of playing cards against a computer for nothing, which is fun for a bit but gets a little old after a while. Still, the game is extremely cheap and if you are into Team Fortress 2 you can earn some fun special items from the players so the $5 price point is pretty decent.The real missed opportunity here is in DLC. Telltale doesn’t seem to have any desire to push any sort of DLC fo this game but the potential is huge. Just think, for maybe another dollar each, they could add more character packs. Then each game could be built from 4 random characters from the pool. Even sticking with the pool of sources used, the obvious additions of Sam, Gabe, Any other TF2 Class, and Homestar Runner would be entertaining. Maybe they just charge another $5 for a new set + new play style. The option to pick between different Poker play styles would be another welcome addition.

Review – Nintendo Game & Watch Collection (NDS)

Nintendo Game & Watch Collection Site Banner

I posted a photo of this game once I finally managed to acquire it to Flickr and it received the comment question “Is it worth it?”.  You see, Game & Watch isn’t your standard Nintendo DS game, it can only be acquired (in the US) through the Club Nintendo Points promotional system.  If you’re unfamiliar with how this works, most Nintendo titles on DS and Wii comes with little slips that include a code.  When you register the game on the Club Nintendo website, you get points.  I’m not positive but I think it’s something like 40 points per game.  In order to redeem the Game & Watch Collection, you need 800 points, or like 20 games.  There are other ways to get points such as followup surveys or Virtual console titles (worth less) but for the most part you’re looking at owning at around 20 games for a Nintendo console to get the points needed to get this one title.  To make matters slightly more complicated, there is a second Game & Watch Collection available as well as a bunch of other nifty Nintendo themed merchandise.

I’ve been saving for this cart for like 2-3 years now.  My personal opinion is that an actual playable game is “worth more” than some novelty cards.  The issue really here is that the game itself isn’t much more than a novelty on it’s own.  In the time it’d take you to play a round of Solitaire with the Mario Playing Cards, you’ll probably have maxed out the enjoyment that can be had from the Game & Watch Collection.  It’s pretty much as advertised, a DS version of the classic handheld versions of Oil Panic, Donkey Kong, and Green House.

I’ll touch on each of these games here however, in order of what I would consider to be best to worst.

Donkey Kong

Not quite the same Donkey Kong one might think of from the arcades but it’s more or less the same concept.  Climb up some sloped platforms while jumping over barrels to knock the big ape from the top of the building.  Keep in mind, this game follows the LCD Handheld age game mechanics.  That is, your movement is limited to maybe 20 static positions on the screen.  This makes the game more about timing than anything.  The screen “refreshes” ever half second or so, so all movement has to be timed around this sequence.  You can move your little man faster than the refresh but timing for jumping over barrels centers on this mechanic.

I rank it highest if only because it’s got the most engrossing gameplay without being overly demanding and based on luck (see Oil Panic).

Oil Panic

I commented previously in the Donkey Kong section about overly complex and based on luck.  The object of Oil Panic is to catch drops of oil as they fall from the ceiling in a bucket.  Your bucket can only hold 3 drips however so occasionally you have to dump the bucket out the window to a guy waiting below.  The catch is that the guy below moved back and forth from the left tot he right window.  This can be mildly irritating as the whole thing is timed to the LCD style switching of screens. Since the guy below can take 2-3 turns to get to one side or the other, this can lead to some mild frustration as drops fall and you have to wait for the guy to move to one side or the other.  So like i said, lucky timing.

Green House

I’m ranking this game the lowest for it’s generally overall simplicity and kind of lameness.  Basically, you have 4 plants to protect from bugs, one in each corner.  You move your guy around the screen spraying the bugs with bug spray as they approach your plants.  That’s pretty much the entire scope of the game and it’s about as exciting as described.

Overall these three games do do a decent representation of recreating the look and feel of the older LCD handhelds.  There are static color backdrops that would have been permanent overlays and the only moving graphics involve the black LCD bits that move from pre determined blocks on a timed interval.  It’s not a real time move.  This is one bit of disappointment with these titles.  It seems like it would have been simple to add a modern real time element and keep the same graphical feel, especially as a “bonus” feature.  Basically the original style game and an “updated” version.  I imagine part of the decision not to do this was that these are free(ish) and so they wanted to save costs.

My other major disappointment with this series is the game selection.  Possibly if I were more familiar with the Game and Watch games I’d understand better why they chose these three titles.  Maybe they were the first three, maybe they were the most popular back in the day.  Personally, I’d have preferred a selection based on more modern titles.  I’m pretty sure there are both Mario and Zelda games in the Game and Watch series.  Seeing these titles recreated on a modern system and being able to play what is part of two of Nintendo’s most popular flagship series of games would have been much more enjoyable all around.  At least they would have had more novelty for being Mario and Zelda.

Review – Kirby Super Star Ultra (NDS)

A few months ago, I put out a request to my friends online to recommend some DS games.  The key was, I felt that I was stuck in a rut and I wanted something different that I wouldn’t likely even consider normally.

After several good suggestions, I decided on Kirby Super Star Ultra.  I’ve played Kirby’s Dreamland and Kirby’s Adventure many years ago and I’m pretty sure they were alright.  I have this unnatural love for Kirby’s Pokemon clone Jigglypuff.  It was a platform game, something I generally enjoy a lot.  I ended up picking it up.  Ok, gambling on a title like this can end up being a bust but having a $25 gift card to cut the cost helped a lot.

Basically, going into this, I had very little idea of what it would be.  I knew Kirby was a big pink ball who eats things an that the back of the package was pushing some sort of “multi character buddy system”.

As it turns out, this game is a game of Mini Games.  Not really Mini games in the WarioWare sense but Mini games in the Super Mario Allstars sense.  That is, each game is effectively a shortish but full independent game of it’s own.  The initial offering is 6 games, only one of which i unlocked from the start.  As you complete other games, more games unlock.  These games are all rated on a star based difficulty ranging from something like one star to many stars.

For people who are unaware.  The basic premise of Kirby is that Kirby will eat anything and everything, including enemies.  If you eat certain enemies, you can also choose to gain their abilities.  For example, eating a knight will let you wield a sword.  Eating a guy with a jetpack will give you a jetpack and the ability to dash.  Kirby’s natural abilities are limited to eating and puffing himself up in order to fly.  This game also lets you eject any ability once you’ve absorbed and create a helper.  That same knight ability an become a knight who will battle along side you.

Since this game has several separate games I’ll discuss each one shortly in a bit of detail.  They all contain the same general play mechanics but each tends to have a gimmick of it’s own.

So I started off with Spring Breeze, the first available game.  Turns out this game is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream land.  Actually I had my suspicions that this game was the Super Mario Allstars of Kirby and all of the included games were in fact older Kirby games.  Turns out I was half correct.  Further research revealed that this game is in fact a remake of a previous Super NES game, though it includes a decent amount of new content.

Back to Spring Breeze.  It’s a basic stage based platformer with bosses at the end of each stage.  It will also give you an instant feeling of “buyers remorse” upon completion.  Spring Breeze is ridiculously short and ridiculously easy.

Which brings up my first real complaint about this game as a whole.  It’s easy.  It’s extremely easy.  Now granted, I’ve played a ton of platform games and being really good at something as comparably unforgiving as Super Mario Brothers makes this a cakewalk by default but this game tends to be too easy for it’s own good.  One of the last games to be unlocked with like ten stars ended up being one of the easiest overall.

The point is, don’t pick this game up expecting a challenge unless you’re a pretty novice level gamer.  That doesn’t make it any less fun really, it’s just means difficulty level is not a selling point at all on this title.

Anyway, like I said, buyer’s remorse.  You just now get the feeling that you’ve spent 30 bucks on a game that contains 6 games you’ll complete in 15 minutes each.  Kind of a gyp.  This problem will be amplified when you play the second game (in order of difficulty level).

dss92_2 Gourmet Race is the second game.  It’s a 3 stage race against King Dedede to eat as much as you can.  It almost feels like it should be in the mini games section.  There is exactly one “trick” needed to win this game easily and there are no enemies.  I played this game

Thankfully, things pick up a bit by the third game, Dyna Blade.  This game is another stage based game only this time the game’s four stages are laid out in a world map fashion.  This time the stages are longer than in Spring Breeze and the difficulty is actually noticeably (slightly) higher.

Things heat up finally with The Great Cave Offensive. This came consists of a large continuous mazelike level consisting of several themed areas.  The object is to travel through the cave and collect all 60 treasures hidden within (15 in each area).  Some of the treasures are obvious and easy to find.  Others require you to traverse far corners and carry particular equipment and/or helpers in order to acquire them.  Still a few are obvious but require a bit of ingenuity in order to get past a particular trap.  Probably the most difficult to figure out is one that is guarded by a strong wind.

Each area also includes a boss.  The bosses are fun to fight as they provide some difficult and it’s really irritating that they don’t return when you revisit the maze in order to collect more treasure.  Fortunately for anyone who enjoys the bosses, all of them start repeating a lot from this point on in the overall Kirby Super Star Ultra experience.

The treasures also add a bit of fun, many of them reference other Nintendo games with items such as the Master Sword and Captain Falcon’s Helmet.

The next game is Revenge of the MetaKnight, another stage based platform game of course.  This one adds a critical element, time.  Each stage has a quickly diminishing time limit in which to complete the stage.  This time limit is part of the plot which gives it even more urgency.  You must quickly fight through the MetaKnight’s ship and bring it down before it can cause any mayhem. 

This time element makes this game rather fun and intense with one complaint. There is a lot of text based plot unfolding around you as you rush through the stages.  The enemy leaders go on about how Kirby is storming the various areas and crack some jokes here and there.  Unfortunately the urgency of what’s going on on screen means you’ll end up missing lot of this plot.

The sixth game to be unlocked is Milky Way Wishes. This is another world map style game in the spirit of Dyna Blade.  The difference is you can play any of the stages from the start and you’ll need to revisit them several times as well.  This game differs from your standard Kirby game.  Instead of eating enemies and gaining their powers, you must find “Deluxe Ability” power ups.  This allows you to use any power at any time.  This makes this game the easiest of all.  Most of the time in the other games, the problem is finding the enemy you want to be to make things easy.  With this, you have all of your powers available all of the time.

These are the 6 core games.  After these you unlock an additional 5 games, though these tend to be variations on previous games as opposed to wholly new ones.  For example, Revenge of the King is essentially a remake of Spring Breeze with increased difficulty and a few new part added.  The three games, Arena, Helper to Hero, and True Arena, are all variations on the theme of “Fight every boss in order without dying.”

The best of these final unlocked games, and possibly the best game on the cart is Meta Knightmare Ultra.  This game has5 stages however each stage consists of each of the previous game’s levels all lumped together.  For example Stage 1 is Spring breeze, Stage 2 is Dyna Blade, etc.

The difference is, instead of Kirby, you play as Meta Knight.  Meta Knight doesn’t absorb abilities from enemies like Kirby, instead killing enemies fills a power meter.  This Power meters alows you to use on of four abilities built in.  You can summon a helper knight, increase your movement speed, heal your HP, or unleash a super attack.

The issue is though that you generally will use the pattern “summon a new knight if it dies, heal as needed, otherwise save all energy to hit the bosses with 1-2 special attacks which will always kill them.”  The Special attack really is a bit overpowered.

Some of the stages are also a bit more difficult as Metaknight.  Particularly anything that requires you to say, fly around lava.  Metaknight’s flight ability is much more jerky than Kirby’s and it can make some areas quite tricky.

There are also a handful of completely forgettable mini games that can be played.

Another really fun aspect of this game is the campiness.  I’m not quite sure if it’s intentional or not either.  The descriptions for everything are kooky with lots of weird emphasis.  There is also a hilarious RPG style boss where you take turns with it making attacks and when defeated gives experience.  This experience does things like increases your puffiness and cuteness and the game points out that these stats don’t really mean anything.

Ultimately, this game is a hard one to wrap up.  Really any sort of recommendation depends on what you want from a game.  This is certainly a fun decent game but it’s likely not going to be something anyone who considers themselves “hardcore” will want to play.  It has no difficulty and there isn’t much of a learning curve.  It does make a decent distraction and would likely appeal to someone who likes games like Mario a lot.  On the other hand, the oddity surrounding the game and it’s random almost pointless jumble of plot lines may confuse and irritate more casual gamers.  There isn’t any sort of cohesion between the plots of the various games.  Still, it’s fun to play, which is really what counts in the end.

Review – Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (GBA)

Ah yes, Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow.  Things finally start to come together for out portable Castlevania titles.  This one is set pretty far in the future compared to most of the other Castlevania games so the overall styling is a bit of a treat as well, well, it could have been…

The Belmonts are pretty much the heroes of the Castlevania series but really there’s probably as many if not more games NOT starring
Belmonts than there are games with them.  This game is one of those games, starring the fruitiest hero of any game in the series, Soma Cruz.  Even is name is ridiculous.  Instead of a cape he wears a long white trench coat.  At least it’s not black like some Matrix wannabe.

Still, the fruity hero thing worked in the best game of the series, and it works pretty well here.  In fact this is the closest we’ve gotten to Symphony of the Night on the GBA.  The best aspect is the ability to switch weapons.  There’s even a gun weapon however it doesn’t appear until the end of the game, it’s slow to fire, and generally sucks.  You’d think for a game set in modern times the weaponry would be a bit more… modern.  Of course that would take the sword slashing fun out of things.

Like its predecessors, this game features a customizable power up system.  This one centers on collecting souls of monsters.  Each soul causes different things to happen, usually dependant on the monster it was collected from.  For example, collecting a bat soul will allow you to emit sonar attacks.  You can equip several different souls at a time, one of each type.  Some are always active, others you activate manually.  The souls are used rather cleverly to find the “real ending”.  You’ll have to use a specific set of souls in order to achieve the true ending.

The plot for this game is also quite a bit divergent from the previous games.  You see, in 2023, when the game is set, Dracula is dead.  Like dead dead.   You’re character is called to Dracula’s castle and as he absorbs souls, be becomes consumed by the desire to become the “new Dracula”.  Soma will have to over come this or face off against Julius Belmont in order to save himself.  Of course killing the
Belmont means becoming the new master of the castle.  Yeah, who knew such a flakey guy could be so sinister.

Plot nuances aside, the game play on this title is rock solid.  It’s not quite as good as Symphony but it comes in a pretty close second.  The castle is large and interesting, the enemies are closer to their more traditional selves after Harmony’s oddball designs.  Control is good, the soul system is much better than the DSS and magic books of the previous two GBA titles.

Best yet, there’s a decent sequel waiting for you when you finish this one, though Dawn of Sorrow will require a DS to play.  Chances are you’re only going to find this game in the double pack with Harmony but either way, alone or doubled up, it’s still worth the price of purchase.

Review – Super Dodge Ball Advanced (GBA)

Super Dodge Ball Advanced Site Banner

GBA – Atlas – 2 Players

This game is a remake of the classic NES hit Super Doge Ball. While it doesn’t feature the old well known Kunio Gang (aka “The River City Ransom Guys”) it does play identical to the original with many extra bonuses. For instance, we are treated to nice little cut scenes of the team’s nose less manager chick between each round. It should be assumed that if this game actually had a story beyond slamming balls into the other team, that the manager would probably be the love interest of the main character Ken. Though of course Ken is only main character because the manual says so, and because he is captain of your team. It doesn’t even mention he’s captain of anything in the game.

Anyway, the plot of the game is that in the year 20XX (you can tell it’s cool because it has a fake year), the world sport of choice is dodge-ball and every country competes to be the World Champion Dodge Ball Team. I suppose one could assume it’s something like the movie Robot Jocks, where all wars are no longer fought with armies but in small group combat where four man teams whip volleyballs at each other in hopes of killing the other team before they get killed themselves.

So why is this game so great? Do I need to hit you in the head with a ball moron? I mean it’s a fucking game based on a sport that is more mindlessly violent than football. I mean you kill people with a fucking volleyball, how many ways do I have to spell it out. The game is just so fucking ludicrous in it’s concept it is automatically great. Plus it’s addictingly fun. Play for hours vent your frustration at being killed by the Afro sporting Korean team by kicking the shit out of the guy on the sidelines.

I mean people are hailing Castlevania (CotM) as the best GBA launch title, fuck that, I have Castlevania, it’s great but I mean a whip? Come on, killing people with whips is so cliche. There is only one thing that could be better then SDBA on this system, and that would be River City Ransom Advance. Heck I like the new updated look of SDBA’s characters so much that I wouldn’t mind if they changed to something similar in RCRA. So anyway, Nintendo if you are listening, we want a RCR remake of this caliber. Nice new crisp graphics, Nice options and interface, good controls, fun game play, this game has it all.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review was originally written previous to the release of RCR EX