PC

Review – The Inlaws (PC)

Mar 13th, 2018

Released: 01.21.2010 | Golem Labs

I’m labeling this, Episode 1 because when this game was made, there was an idea for an Episode 2. There doesn’t seem to have ever been an Episode 2 produced however. Kind of a shame since this game isn’t completely terrible and it’s relatively short. It’s not a spectacular game either though and has a few game breaking bugs in it so it may be a goo thing there isn’t an Episode 2.

This game takes the idea of Episodic gaming and combines it with the idea of Episodic Television, specifically, episodic cartoon television. Not so much Bugs Bunny, more, Oblongs or Family Guy, though the humor isn’t really quite up to the level of Family Guy. It’s not without it’s humorous oh brother moments though. The basic premise is that you play as Ed, a large goofball father of two and your goal is this Item Gathering adventure is to sabotage your Nephew Inlaw’s birthday party. Not so much because Ed dislike’s his nephew but more because he dislikes his Inlaws in general….. or something….

It’s not really a point and click adventure since the mouse does no more than control the camera as you navigate around the house and backyard setting of the story. It still has the same sort of gameplay as a point and click adventure however. Essentially, you gather items which can be combined and used with other items to cause often comical results. You have two main goals, sabotage the entertainment at the party and sabotage the presents. You have to complete the presents mission before you sabotage the entertainment and completing the second objective will end the game. The whole process takes about a half hour to an hour depending on how great you are at solving Adventure Game logic. There’s a help system if you get stuck but the game tends to be really obvious about what to do next and you’ll forfeit your points if you use the help system.

It took me a bit longer to complete the game however because, while the game is really good about giving clues as to where to go next, it also has several game crippling bugs. Firstly, the game crashed completely at least 3 times. One of these times I was getting ready to quit out anyway so it wasn’t a huge deal and the other I was using the print screen key to capture a screenshot to an external program I use so that may have been related.

Also on two occurrences, the audio failed to play. Overall the voice work is great for the game, everyone sounds good and the voices all fit the characters. But when a character is explaining what to do and you can’t hear them then you’re kind of screwed. I only managed to figure out where to look because I talked to the character a second time and they repeated a condensed version of what they had previously said.

Even worse is the third bug. Right near the end of the game, I needed to create a distraction so the Sister InLaw would leave the kitchen. After wandering around and talking to everyone one repeatedly and trying to use everything I had on everyone. I finally gave up and quit. When i returned to the game later, I found that Ed’s son, whom I had sent off later with a bottle rocket was sitting in the middle of the yard where he hadn’t been before. I actually suspected something like this would happen since I had used the help system and the star locator appeared off the map and the Son was nowhere to be found anywhere in the house.

It kind of sucks that these issues had to crop up considering the presentation here is really nice. The game’s 3D cartoony graphics are top notch as is the voice work. The idea of a sitcom style episodic game is interesting as well, though the release schedule probably could stand to be ramped up a bit to take advantage of the idea a bit better. There is promise on Golem Labs’ website of a second Episode set on a beach with some screen shots though nothing listed about a release date or if it’s even being worked on.

I’m going to end here with one last bit of a downer. the Retail on this normally is $9.99, which is pretty steam considering how short it is. I got it on sale for $2.50 though $4.99 would probably be an ok price if there were more episodes to go for and some of the bugs were addressed.

Review – Dance Dance Revolution (PC)

by Ramen Junkie.

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Dance Dance Revolution
PC (Konami)

2 Players

Here’s a little artifact that is probably fairly obscure. There was an official DDR game released for PC a while back. Except it was an exclusive product for a chain of stores not in my area (Fry’s) and to an online store I never shop at (outpost.com). And at only $10 it’s certainly cheaper than the Playstation alternatives. On the other hand it has to compete with free programs such as Stepmania. So how well does this game step up to the challenge? Not very well I’m afraid.

I guess I’ll get the positive aspects out of the way first this time, there’s really only one. The backgrounds are nice. The chance to play this game with moving animated backgrounds and the 3D dancers is a nice change of pace from the static images of Stepmania. However there isn’t really too much variety in the background movies. There are a ton of characters to chose from though. The game includes I believe 16 characters to start with, plus 8 to unlock, and another 24 that can be downloaded. That’s a lot of dancers. Once again, on the down side, the 3D models used are getting pretty dated and don’t look like they’ve been updated since they were first introduced to the series. Also there was supposed to be a 35th downloadable character but I don’t know where it would fit in the list unless there are only 7 unlockables.

Now the bad. This game is buggy as all hell. It’s a very poor port of who knows what. Other than the bugs the game reeks of laziness in general. For example, the song selection screen just breaks the songs into “Group 1”, “Group 2”, etc; No fancy classifications like in Konamix. Also all of the songs are available from the start, instead you unlock new dancers. It took me no time at all to complete all the songs on Heavy with a B or better. Yeah, only B. This game also uses the old style of scoring, anything less than a Full Combo will get you a B. Now this wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the numerous game freezes.

I have a pretty good machine, it runs 3D games and software very well, it runs Stepmania beautifully, but this game runs like shit on it. I don’t think I ever have a song where at one point the arrows just stop moving while the song continues. Sometimes I can keep the rhythm pretty well and keep things up but in a game completely dependant on timing and non-freezing gameplay, this is pretty inexcusable. Also I’ve found the first time I load the game each play, the first song will have no music. The whole game is about the music here people, this is a pretty important issue. Also timing in general is pretty flaky. Songs that I easily AA in Stepmania, (My Summer Love, Era) I can’t even A on this game.

Something else of note, the steps for End of the Century on Heavy are off. Like 3 or 4 beats off, it’s REALLY noticible and I’ve tried the song several times on different days so it wasn’t just a fluke or anything. Many of the other bugs seem like they may have been repairable had the game instealled the music to the Hard Drive instead of reading it from the CD (like it seems to do), but these completely wrong steps are just ridiculous. I guess compleyel wrong steps is too strong, they are there, just off their mark. Did anyone play test this at all?

There is also a noticeable lack of features, and songs. This game has 40 songs (see below), most pretty unremarkable bottom of the barrel stuff. Also there isn’t too much in the way of modifiers, only Little, Turn, and Hidden.

Anyway, in conclusion, even if you really want to show your support to Konami by buying this game, don’t. Don’t support this buggy shit software, if you want an official DDR pick up DDR Max on PS2, no PS2? Try Konamix on PS1, the frame rates suck but it’s still decent. If you can’t afford the Playstation versions and still want a home DDR experience just download Stepmania and get all the free songs you want. Just please don’t support this buggy horrible piece of software.

Song List:

Midnite Blaze
Share My Love
Let the beat hit em!
MY SUMMER LOVE
MAKE IT BETTER SO-REAL MIX
MAKE A JAM!,
B4U
BABY BABY
GIMME YOUR LOVE
Don’t Stop! AMD 2nd MIX
Era Nostalmix
Make Your Move,
Orion.78 Ameuro-MIX
WILD RUSH
CELEBRATE NITE
HIGHER
CUTIE CHASER,
Groove,
DEAD END
END OF THE CENTURY
Silent Hill
AFRONOVA
PARANOiA KCET Clean mix
KEEP ON MOVIN’
LOVE THIS FEELIN’
LET THEM MOVE
TRIP MACHINE
AM-3P
BRILLIANT2U Orchestra-Groove
PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME
PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME Jazzy Groove
MAKE IT BETTER
La Senorita
PARANOiA
DYNAMITE RAVE,
BRLLIANT2U
I Was The One
Never let you down
Get me in your sight AMD CANCUN MIX
STILL IN MY HEART
Remember You

Review – Eufloria (PC)

Feb 13th, 2018

by Ramen Junkie.

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Most real time strategy games involve military conflict of some sort. It’s part of the genre really, one military force against another, at war, requiring the player to take strategic command. Eufloria does an interesting job of almost breaking this mold. Technically it’s still centering around a conflict, though instead of tanks and soldiers you fight with plant seeds.

The conflict is certainly more peaceful when it involves plants. The light graphics and airy music and sound effects make this a fairly relaxing and serine experience to play.

The object is to control a region of planetoids before the opponent destroys your forces. In order to control a planet you will have to sacrifice some of your seedlings to plant new trees, the trees will in turn spawn more seedlings over time. Most of the trees will anyway, there are also defensive trees which will instead provide protection from enemy forces. The planets themselves have different energy levels as well and will spawn faster or stronger seedlings depending on the planet’s attributes.

In the early stages it is fairly easy but over time the enemy colonies become more aggressive and will have better defenses. The real key to combat is advantages in numbers, which means owning more planets. Unfortunately, this is where the game play starts to fall apart. Later stages become quickly and easily overwhelming, especially as the enemy starts deploying the large flower pods which can easily wipe out even a large army of seedlings with little to no effort. Much of the play time involved is essentially just sitting and waiting for more seedlings to spawn. When one of the notes in the update is “Updated the gameplay to be faster-paced and more interesting, with more strategic balance” you’ve got issues. Thankfully they put some effort into correcting it. Even so there is a LOT of “sit and wait” gameplay here, especially when you start facing defensive trees which will require large numbers of seed pods to overcome them.

Another minor issues I’ve had, the game doesn’t seem to always record progress made properly. This admittedly may have been an error on my part though it was a bit frustrating when I found I had to replay the first ten or so levels after I’d already completed them.

Generally the game is a fun departure from the traditional strategy game. The design is simple though definitely more complex than it seems on the surface. It is hindered somewhat buy it’s slowish pacing but it’s still a pretty enjoyable experience. My recommendation however would still be to look for it on some sort of sale as the base price of $15 is a little high for what you get

Review – Saints Row the Third (PC, Xbox360, PS3)

Mar 7th, 2017

by Ramen Junkie.

2 comments

2011 – Volition – 1 Player (Campaign) Multiplayer (Online)
PC, PS3, Xbox360

The Good

Loads of fun Gameplay
Reminiscent of classic GTA
Amazing custom character creation with voices and interactions not just “faceless”

The Bad

The missions are kind of just a repetition of a handful of mini games
Kooky level may be too much for some people’s taste.

In Depth

Saints Row really has a comeback story behind it. The first game is apparently rather terrible. the second game is better but not great. It’s already saddled with being a “GTA knockoff” by default no matter what it does. Somewhere Volition has managed to get something really right because Saints Row the Third seems to be quite a hit among gamers. So much of a hit that THQ had decided to focus more on games like Saints Row over things like it’s failing Wii Tablet thing (U-Draw).

This thing is pretty long and image heavy, so you’ll have to click through to get the whole thing.

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Review – American Truck Simulator (PC)

Feb 28th, 2017

by Ramen Junkie.

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The Good

Strong Developer Support
Sprawling environment to explore
Straightforward Gameplay

The Bad

Free drive could be more flexible
No official online multiplayer
Repetitive gameplay

There are a lot of Simulation games out there covering a crazy array of subjects from Farming to Forklift driving. To some extent, some laws regarding video game content in some European countries can be blamed for this trend. It’s also nice to be able to do even simple things that you can’t normally do. A lot of these simulation titles are flat out garbage, with mediocre graphics and very little realism in terms of game play, the few that are decent though really tend to be shinning stars to some extend in the gaming world.

Two of the best example of good Simulation titles are the Farming Simulator and the Euro Truck Simulator titles. What really sets these games apart is the depth they go to simulating not just the basic aspect of doing some job, but also the nuance of running the entire business. Euro Truck Simulator is particularly popular due to just how much of Europe has been recreated in a virtual environment for players to cruise around in delivering their cargo. The creators of Euro Truck Simulator have set their sites on recreating a second continent for Truck Driving, with American Truck Simulator. They have stated that their plan is to do all of the United States in various DLC packs (I’m not sure if they are including Hawaii and Alaska). The base game includes California, Nevada and New Mexico. It’s not a 1:1 experience or anything but the basic idea is there, which is great.

This plan has been put on hold a bit however since the developers are currently working to rescale the world they have created to allow for more accurate interchanges and a better feeling of long range driving. Essentially, they are remaking what they have already put out to make the entire experience better, which just goes to show how dedicated they are to their cause.

There are a ton of little details to help complicate the experience that contribute to the Simulation experience. A low powered truck won’t be able to effectively pull a super heavy load. Over time, you will run out of gas unless you stop to refuel your fuel. You also will grow tired, which causes you to briefly “black out”, unless you stop at a designated rest area to sleep. You lose points (money) for running into other vehicles and walls, if you speed and get caught by the cops you get a ticket, though it’s often possible to speed and not get caught, especially on “the back roads”. When you arrive at the destination you get a chance to earn bonus experience by just dropping off the trailer, or executing a perfect back in maneuver.

The real enjoyment of this game comes from it’s laid back gameplay. There isn’t any real pressure, you aren’t racing against a bunch of other vehicles or having to worry about who will shoot you as you cruise around the world delivering various cargo trailers. Once you’ve earned enough money to buy your own truck you can even free drive at your own leisure.

The free drive mode is nice, though it kind of feels like it could be better. While free driving, you don’t carry a trailer, which kind of makes the Truck part of the game a little less fun. You also still have to worry about the game’s mechanics, such as speeding tickets, refueling, and paying for repairs. This can all add up pretty quick if you are a poor driver. It would be nice to be able to turn all of the game off and just goof around in this expansive world.

It also takes a while to “unlock” free drive mode as well, since you’ll have to save up a hefty chunk of change in order to buy even a cheap truck. Over time though as you earn money you can buy bigger and nicer trucks, as well as trick them out with custom paint and gear. You can eventually start hiring other drivers to run jobs for your company as well, to earn some passive income.

All of this is a little moot though since there isn’t a built in way to play online. There are 3rd party methods but it would be nice to have an official way to cruise around the US with your friends, or even see strangers cruising around in their fancy trucks. I imagine there would be issues with griefing where other players just run around trying to wreck people.

It’s also possible that I’m expecting too much out of this title, it is a Simulation game, it’s not “GTA with Semis”. Also don’t take too much stake in these complaints, they are issues that could be better, but the basic idea and game is pretty fun and it’s a good low pressure experience. If the developers stick to their plan to do the entire US, it could definitely turn into something really interesting, as you could virtually cruise from Los Angeles to New York.