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Review – King’s Knight (NES)

King's Knight Site Banner

1989 Squaresoft | 1 Player

Graphics 6/10
So so graphics.  They are OK, but this is for NES standards.  It is a Square game, and
they tend to have pretty good graphics for their games when they are released, and this
is one of their first games so it’s pretty early.  Some of the monsters are easy to tell
what they are supposed to be but others seem like random blobs.

Sound 3/10
I don’t remember anything that really stands out in this game and being an early NES game
this area isn’t too great.  Nothing spectacular or too memorable like some of Square’s
later games.

Gameplay 6/10
Kind of fun and interesting gameplay.  Thing “really slow overhead shooter”.  The screen
scrolls along and you walk along up the screen shooting enemies and blowing away trees and
such.  All the characters have ranged weapons and there are four characters.  I don’t have
the instructions so I’m not sure what everything does.  You get four lives, and when one
character dies you come back as a different one on a different level.  I’m not sure about
how these characters intertwine or anything, I really wish I had some instructions for this
game.

Overall 5/10
Nothing great, about the only reason really to get this (and the reason i got it) is if
you are a Squaresoft completionist.  It’s probably one of the harder to find Square games
since it’s such an early one.  I found mine used at Babbages (where I’ve bought my last
several games).

Tip: I can’t think of anything really.  The up arrows heal you, the down arrows hurt you,
I had to figure this out since I didn’t have a book.

Review – Zero Wing (Genesis)

Zero Wing site banner
ZeroWing

      It should be being to be well known that I are an fan of the dying game genre
sometimes being called “Shooters”.
    No, I do not mean First Person Shooter, though those be generally pretty well
good as also, I refer myself to side scrolling or upwards scrolling space fighter
games where there is being the general point is to see how much large of a score can
rack up. The best console type examples of this type of console game are including
Life Force, Macross: Scrambled Valkyrie, and Bangaio (there be many others, these
be just example, don not flame me for not mentioning what is YOUR personal favorite).
      Anyway, Zero Wing are just being that type of game. The humans be under attack
by aliens or under attack by whomever and it are YOUR job to be fly alone through
swarms of aliens for chance to kill their leader’s time. At least this game is sort
of being to manage to explaining why you is alone fighting aliens, it happens to be
that your Throat Sea Urchin. explodes at the beginning of the game and you is just
barely managing to be able to escape. So you go are going off on to a personal
vendetta on to avenge your crewmates. At least it are being a bit more of an
exposition than Life Force is being to have, which is consist of no into story and
simply thrusts you directly into combat.
      It is unfortunately lack of a having story is Life Force belonging only
disadvantage to this title (NOTE: Life Force is essentially the Shooter version
of Contra in every way). Being on the more than negative side, Zero Wing has is
having decent music. Well at least the one track I got to hear is going to be
being decent. After trying for like one half time of hour to be trying to kill
the first boss I having been gave up on trying to be want to finish this game,
shame too, since you are being to getting unlimited continues (always a plus)
and I are think there is being only 4 levels to this game with only four levels.
    On with the bad parts to get on with. For started time, the game is having
been made painful difficult by there having slow speeds of the ship. Considering
this was being have been on the same console that giving us Sonic 2, I don not
wanting to believe that processor energy had been had to be anything to have to
be do with it. I am suppose it may could be that I was been trying to play this
game through means of using a keyboard, but still being, repetition should have
come to be me good enough to be able to at least be able to finish the first
boss. Also there is being much much overuse of “burst fire” is happening when
the enemy is fires at you in an burst usually during being in this game’s
belonging to case in an 8 direction star burst. This is not been too difficult
to be in itself to have to dodge but every time there be will also also be an
straight shot approaching to you ship right at you right during the spot you
have to need to be to avoid the burst shot. This could have been somewhat
remedied by providing freely the ship more speed. More speed is happening it
are easier to be able to move dodge out of the way. Life Force occurred slow
ships too but at least you were being able to get upgrades to being able to
fix that.
      Oh yes, upgrades. While being that upgrades are not having been necessary
essential to having a shooter type console game, it is helpful to been having
some decent ones when you are having them. The one that is seems to being the
easiest one to acquire is being to be the helper drone upgrade. This is been a
nice warping as usually the helper drone upgrade are the hardest to acquire.
Next we are having lasers, which are pretty much suck in during been ALL
shooter/action game since they is required to be have uselessly slow YOUR fire
speed due to the extra power. Also they are being have to BASEically required
to be follow the path of the gun barrel is which is makes them to be hard to
be aim while you are trying to be dodging. What should you ARE to be doing?
Continuing to be stick around during the path that BELONG of that bullet so
the laser will be a hit or do are you have to being TO dodge out of the laser
of it’s path? The last upgrade occurring to be a bit USeful and is being a sort
of guided missile weapon while it have a pretty high rate of fire, the missiles
are seem to been making a pretty half assed trial to actually be hitting their
targets.
      So unless you are starved for a shooter to play, go find something else.
There are quite few very good ones on The Underdogs. (NOTE: We No longer support
the Underdogs.org due to their excessive pop up advertising.) Just don’t bother
with this pile of shit.  

Review – River City Ransom EX (GBA)

River City Ransom is a favorite game among many “old school” gamers. It’s fast paced combination of action and RPG coupled with a first rate two player set up make this a game everyone loves to play.

So, like its NES bother Super Dodge Ball, River City Ransom gets a GBA revamp. This game gets not just a complete facelift to 16 bit style graphics, but also many new features. The best new feature, and probably the worst, is the save system. No longer will gamers be plagues by extremely long strings of random symbols and letters. Now you can simply create a data file on the game pack with your character’s abilities.

The new save system unfortunately is extremely flawed. It’s not that it doesn’t work; it’s more that it’s extremely unintuitive. Loading the game lets you pick options such as difficulty, number of enemies, if you want the other character to follow you around (computer controlled). It also lets you load data for each character. However, it requires you to load for both Ryan and Alex; whether you want the other character with you or not. You can circumvent this however by simply entering the game and loading from in game.

Saving also works a bit strangely, as far as I can tell, it automatically creates a new file no matter what, so you’ll likely end up doing a lot of file deleting. This can lead to frustration as there’s nothing to differentiate a file other than player name. This of course can lead to accidentally deleting the new file.

Save system aside, the game also introduces player partners. In the original, two players could pair up as Ryan and Alex to trek across River City. This game allows you to let the computer to control the other hero. The computer isn’t really helpful for much more than absorbing damage though. He’ll take down a few enemies but he won’t really come rescue you too much if you’re starting to take a beating.

Ryan and Alex aren’t the only heroes anymore either. You can get up to 3 followers ranging from new characters to Zombies (the bosses). You’ll have to satisfy certain story based requirements to get these different partners.

Unfortunately, the game is not without its flaws. Firstly, I’ve played around with this game several times and I can’t get Thor to appear in the warehouse like he should. I’m not sure if there is some new story sequence I have to find or if my copy is buggy but this prevents Ivan from appearing to unlock the gates of River City High. Unfortunately the save file doesn’t save your progress, just your stats, so in order to try again I have to go through the whole game again.

Second, The cost of special moves has been increased dramatically. There are MANY new special abilities to learn and each character starts with one already learned (Alex gets Dragon Kick, Ryan gets Stone Hands), but the skills are now in the $150-$300 dollars. When you couple this with the enemies, who seem to be stronger and more numerous in this version, it means you’ll be hard pressed to actually save money when you have to spend it all refilling your life.

It’s not impossibly difficult, but this artificial increase in difficulty removes a lot of the fast paced fun of the original game. The new features and story make things a lot more complicated and as a result this remake loses almost all of the fun charm of the original. Honestly I find myself bored and frustrated more than enjoying playing the game.

The Game Boy is the kind of portable gaming. My portable gaming goals are likely different than others, but when I play my game boy I am looking for something I can either complete in 10-15 minutes or less (even if it’s one mission or quest) and something I can save and come back to in 5-10 minute spurts of game play. The save system not keeping story progress and the excessive time needed to raise money remove these aspects from the game. It’s a nice looking remake but it just isn’t as fun as the original game.

Review – Sonic Adventure (Dreamcast)

1 Player | Sega

Sega’s mascot makes the jump to true 3D.  Though I believe there was a previous 3D
Sonic for Saturn or 3sx or Sega CD or one of those, now he’s 128 bit powered and it
shows.  This is the Mario 64 of the Dreamcast, the game that was thoroughly crafted
to take advantage of the system’s overall capabilities.  Certainly a worthy game and
surely feels like a Sonic game to me.

Graphics (9/10)
  Keep in mind the ratings are determined on the system capabilities.  That is, a
NES game could receive a 9 as well but the graphics of an eight bit system will
certainly not compared to that of a 128 bit one.  The graphics are exceptional in
this game though. There is a massive leap from PSX or N64 3D graphics.  Everything
is richly detailed and the maps don’t ever seem barren or empty.  The nine though
comes from a few rare blips that pop up in there.  And for the camera, which
occasionally (though not as much as some other reviews I’ve read would have you
believe) does weird things that make it difficult to maneuver.  The speeds that you
fly down the raps and paths are amazing, I can’t hardly imagine just how large some
of these levels actually are when Sonic starts flying down long stretches at great
speeds.

Sound (9/10)
  It’s not all eye candy though, it’s got great sound as well.  Though a few of the
effects seem somewhat dated, they are “classic” sonic sound effects and fit as a
result. The music is great too.  There are only a few songs that seemed truly
terrible, and I was downloading some of the songs off of Napster the day after I
started playing this game.  But then, some people may abhor the J=Pop feel of the
music, so really it comes down to taste in music I suppose.

Game Play (10/10)
  Fast and fun.  There are 5 playable characters in this game each with their own
stories that all interweave together.  Tails probably has the most boring story as
it’s more or less identical to Sonic’s story.  Knuckles interacts with Sonic only
a few times and seems to have the shortest of the 5 (I haven’t played Big yet.)  You
even get to play as the bad guy for some time as Gamma.  Plus the stories help play
off each other too.  If you see something that makes no sense in one game, chances
are it will be explained somehow in one of the other games.  Sonic of course follows
the general “Collect rings and Emeralds, destroy Robotnik” story.  The constant
referall to Robotnik as “Eggman” is kind of annoying though I think Eggman actually
is his Japanese name or something.  Many of the classic Sonic level designs show up
here in full 3D though.  There is a casino stage, the Jungle, a machine shop area,
Sky-Chase levels.  Also there are a few references to previous Sonic games thrown in
as well.

Overall (9.4/10)
  Definitely worthwhile if you enjoy Sonic games.  They were always my favorite
Genesis titles (Sonic 2 up on top).  It was the first Dreamcast game I bought and
I feel it was worth it.  It does seem a bit short I’m probably almost 75% done with
all of the game, but I’ve been playing it a lot.  Pick it up!

Review – Movie – Cool As Ice

So Ice and his group come into this little Nowheresville town. Vanilla ‘Johnny’ Ice and his buddies stop at this motorcycle shop where Ice runs into this girl nammed Kathy (Ice is cool and calls her ‘Kat’) that he thinks is attractive and swipes her planner. Common movie set-up right? Well, Later he goes to meet up with the girl only to find that she has already gone out with her boyfriend to the local hang out. Ice asks for directions from these two men outside of Kat’s, the girl’s house. This sets up a key event later. Since the two men are actually out to get Kat’s father.

Ice heads out to meet Kat, only to end up preforming rap in place of the horribly pathetic band there. After Ice dances with Kat, she requests that he give her book back, and he says he will tomorrow. Kat then proceeds to break up with her boyfriend and gets taken home by Ice on his bike. Also while Ice and Kat are out the two men mentioned previously speak to Kat’s father and we find out they are apparently after $500,000 from some sort of extortion scheme from when Kat’s father was in the police force. After dropping off Kat, Ice heads back to the garage where Kat’s old boyfriend is beating on the other band member’s bikes with a bunch of other guys.

Vanilla proceeds to beat the shit out of the group in a show of just how tough he is. The next morning Kat wakes up to find Johnny Ice in her bed and they go out and spend a day together, when they return home Kat is forbidden to see Ice anymore since her parents suspect he is in cahoots with the two evil ex-cops threatening them (since he was asking directions from them earlier, he is obviously in league with them).

The next day Kat gives Ice the cold shoulder and he decides to leave the town after spending some time with Kat’s video game obsessed brother (we see him playing Tecmo Bowl in one scene and hear him playing Mario 3 in another). Soon after Ice drops off Kat’s brother the kid is kidnapped by the two cops. In a convenient twist, Johnny Ice shows up for one last goodbye to Kat only to find a tape left by the bad guys on the doorstep. When he gives the tape to Kat’s parents they mistake Johnny once again for being in cahoots with the two ex-cops. Before Kat’s father can call the cops on Johnny Ice, Kat runs off with the tape to Ice and they discover the location of the kidnappers through the ever cliche “There is background noise on the extortion tape that we recognize” trick.

So of course Ice saves he day and redeems himself with Kat’s family, and Ice’s band spends the whole time listening to music and goofing off with the mechanics in the garage. Little Tommy get freed and turns himself into a little Vanilla Ice wannabe. And of course Johnny Ice and Kat get together happily ever after. Not before one last confrontation with the Ex-boyfriend where Ice and Kat leap off of the boyfriend’s corvette on Ice’s bike.

Overall the movie is OK, once it gets past the first 20 minutes where it seems to making a lot of effort to make a joke out of itself… and you can’t get much cooler then Ice
Ice Baby!