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Review – Grand Theft Auto III (PS2)

So who hasn’t played Grand Theft Auto III?  Ok, probably a lot of people.  It was a game that really redefined the idea of what a game could be back when it was first released ten years ago in 2001.  I like to brag that I came up with the idea first personally, though it’s probably a real stretch.  A bit of some history.

I played quite a bit of the first Grand Theft Auto with it’s more open ended top down game play.  The older games were less story driven than the later 3D titles, you generally just had to collect a certain amount of money before proceeding to the next city.  There were a lot of similar elements, the cities were named Liberty City, Vice City, and San Andreas, names which were later reused in the subsequent PS2 titles and based loosely on the real life cities of New Your, Miami, and Los Angeles.  You would drive around getting missions from phone booths, steal cars, shoot random pedestrians.  It even had the radio stations which were pretty decent though pretty much unknown music.

I also for a short while in 1999 played a decent amount of the title Midtown Madness.  This is a title that never seemed to get a lot of attention though it’s notable for being the first real sandboxy style racing game.  In addition tot he standard tracks, there was a free roam mode which let you explore the relatively large city of Chicago.  Ok, mostly it was just “The Loop” area and Interstate 90 was altered to create an outside barrier to the city.  You could still pick out where the game took place by looking at a map of Chicago.  It was pretty neat.

One thing I remember most about playing Midtown Madness was that it reminded me a bit of GTA’s free drive experience only more three dimensional.  I always thought it would be pretty awesome if you could actually get out of the car in Midtown Madness and run around the city.  They could even have missions where you were like a cop or a hitman.  Maybe you could have an apartment where you keep your junk and possibly even an online aspect.  It would be totally awesome.

Then Grand Theft Auto III happened 2 years later.

And so I bought a Playstation 2.  Three titles drove this purchase, Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy X, and Grand Theft Auto III.  Here’s a bonus fun fact, I bought my PS3 in December/January near the end of 2001, I had those three games alone for it until roughly a year later when I added three more titles, Metal Gear Solid 2, Final Fantasy X-2, and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

I have played a LOT of GTA3.  Probably more than any other game I have ever owned.  I once figured up based on how many in game days I had on my save file and how many save attempts I had made and how long an in game hour took to calculate I had played around 300 hours of the game, and this was back in like 2001 or 2002 soon after the game had been released.  I’ve explored every nook and cranny of Liberty City countless times.  At one point I could locate every one of the 100 packages without a guide.  I’ve completed the game to 100% completion without being arrested or killed or failing a mission (the game keeps track) and without once doing a “save and reload because I had “messed up”.

It really is an amazing game.  It gets a lot of flack for the violence and crime aspect but even that is only as bad as a person makes it.  Yeah, you can go around shooting pedestrians and hookers and make it a complete gore fest.  Or you can play the story and get an interesting mobster plot.  Yeah, there is some violence but not any more than your average R rated action film.  Hell the whole series is really just a series of movie parodies strung cleverly into a crazy plot.  The problem only comes up when you get players who can’t manage to get anywhere in the story that just run around randomly shooting things.  The first game is even pretty tame, especially next to Vice City which takes it’s Scarface homage pretty seriously.

From a gameplay standpoint it was pretty revolutionary.  For years, games were about doing what was required, the way it was required.  Sure, you had your warp zones and some games like Castlevania or Metroid would let you roam a bit but never before was there a game so encouraging of doing… whatever.  It wasn’t just the freedom to wander around the city that made it work either.  The city itself was a massive living creature.  You could just stand on the sidewalk and thugs or businessmen or old ladies would just wander around.  Cars drive around, sports cars, taxis, cops, delivery vans.  People would get in the taxis they would argue with each other, they’d talk to you as you walked by, it was like being in a real city.  The whole game just reeked of atmosphere and you didn’t have to interact with it to trigger activity.

This was coupled with exceptional cinematic fully voiced cut scenes to drive the plot.  Sure, many of the plot points were lifted from movies like The Godfather but it worked so well as a whole.  There was mystery and betrayal and vengeance and even subtle nods within the plot to earlier events.  This wasn’t just random events happening.  Characters interacted with each other, they referenced other events, it was cohesive.  Even things that you don’t even really realize like the Asian Guy with you at the start of the game in the jail car.  The Columbians kidnap him and thus you end up free and the game starts, but later, you effectively end up taking out the Columbians in your quest for Vengeance.

These minor points just help the whole things feel so much more cohesive.  It creates a great universe that works with itself, which is part of the whole reason the game works so well.

There was also the openness of the missions themselves.  Sure, many more or less required one path to completion but many of them were very open to the player’s preference.  Say you’ve been asked to kill some mob guy.  If you’re the gung ho type you can charge in and assault his guard and the character with pistols and machine guns blazing.  Want the more subtle route, just find yourself a sniper rifle and pick him off from a distance.  Maybe you’re the kamikaze type and want to just plow through his posse in a speedy sports car and hope none of them are carrying shotguns or rocket.  You were very often just given a general objective and a map marker and the gaps are something the player gets to fill in.  Even if you were terrible the game also didn’t really have any lives.  There was no real penalty to dying, you would just wake up at the hospital or police station minus guns and some money.  No lives, no continues, just a simple “Try harder, PS, also you’ll have to find a pistol”

So here we are, it’s been ten whole years since GTA3.  A game that spawned many sequels and spin offs, Vice City, San Andreas, Liberty City Stories, Vice City Stories, GTA4, Chinatown Wars, The lost and the Damned, The Ballade of Gay Tony, hell I’m probably forgetting some.  Then there are knockoff series with the same gangster sandbox concept, Saint’s Row, True Crime, Mafia, Just Cause, Simpsons Hit & Run, The Getaway, there are a lot of them.  It’s a game that inspired many and crated a whole genre of gaming.  Not many games can claim this title.  It also holds up pretty well to time, even with it’s sequels, playing through it again can lead to new methods and a whole new experience.

Review – Contra (NES)

Contra Site Banner

Contra, why would we want to review a game that is like ten Twenty years old? I mean why not do the SIMs Second Life? or Lord of Destruction World of Warcraft? Or Half Life Half Life 2 – Episode 2, or whatever, the list goes on, the idea is why not something current. Well sometimes a game is just too go to be considered too old. When you can spend an entire night playing a ten year old game over and over you know it’s got to be a pretty decent game.

You see back before 3D everything there was 2D everything. Back before war games were all first person shooters, they were side scrolling platform games. The platform game is almost a lost art. Occasionally they still get released, great games like Strider 2, Silhoette Mirage or of course the immortal (literally) Mega Man series. Or you could also count the 1000 pieces of shit cranked out daily for the GBC (Trust only those made by Komani and Capcom, and sometimes not even those). Anyway Contra beget Wolfenstein, beget Doom, beget Half Life . When someone asks what the best game ever is be sure to reply River City Ransom, but when someone asks what the third best game ever is be sure to say Contra (Half Life being number 2 duh.)

So the plot for Contra is, you are the military’s elite commando and its your job to combat the entire Red Faction army. At least its probably something like that, I don’t have the instruction book around and there is no real in game story. For 6 levels you fight Red Faction forces and break into their main base only to suddenly be fighting a bunch of aliens. Where the hell did that plot point come from?

Anyway after killing the Alien leader, A.K.A. the “Obligatory Konami Brain Boss” you helicopter off the island (where did the chopper come from anyway?) and the island explodes. You can always tell a great game because at the end the hero will fly away in a helicopter or a space ship as the island or planet they were fighting on completely blows up for no real apparent reason. Then you’ll get a nice congratulatory message about saving the world then the credits roll then the best part comes. The game starts over. Back to level one.

There are literally hundreds of these Red Faction islands around, all of them identical except that each time the soldier will have a bit more ammo (as in they shoot you more). After blowing up one island where does the chopper go? Why it flies off to the next island. Good work soldier, you saved the universe, from one threat, now it’s back to work on the next island. This gives the game great replay value. Just put in the KONAMI CODE for 30 lives then see home many times you can complete the game before loosing all 30 lives and 3 continues (90 lives +extra lives from points). How’s THAT for a great way to waste an afternoon or a whole day.

But wait, what about your buddy, he want’s some of the action too? Well sometimes the military sends its marines in by the pairs. You can play two players in this game simultaneously. Which is twice the fun, expect when the Spread gun appears, because everyone always wants the spread gun.

Review – Transformers the Game (PC)

I’ve been a bit behind here on my Transformers themed gaming here.  I have yet to really get into any of the latest 3D incarnations of Transformers video games until recently.  i figure the best thing to do would be to start at the beginning.  Unfortunately, Transformers (Armada) isn’t available on the PC so I’m going for the game based on the first movie game.  Keep in mind also, while I played the PC version, I’m pretty sure it’s essentially the same as the console versions for PS2, Xbox360, and PS3.  It’s probably marginally different than the DS version however.

This is a game with a bit of extremes going for it.  I’ll start with the good extremes because, generally good = boring.  The graphics are pretty swank.  Everything looks really nice, there’s a ton of great particle effects and every character looks pretty much the way they should.  As a bonus, the numerous cut scenes, as corny as they may be, are well animated and fluid as well.  The action and Transformation gimmick is used fairly effectively as well, though more so for land based vehicles (more on this in a bit).  My only complaint with the transformation gimmick is the “button” for how to do it is not in the controls options, which mean I had to putz with things until I figured it out (it’s mouse wheel up).

Speaking of controls, let’s move on the the extreme of bad.  The controls are mostly decent, except for the flying sequences.  Controlling Megatron wasn’t so bad but Blackout and Starscream have extreme issues with the up and down precision.  It’s possible this was just my machine or something but it makes flying anywhere almost impossible.  Thankfully it’s never ever necessary.  Even the mission  where you have to shoot down 20 jets can be done by standing on the ground shooting rockets at them as they very slowly fly by.

Assuming you can lock on to them.  The next major gripe I have with this game is the incessant military/police.  You see, due to the nature of the film, creating things to fight and DO on missions was a bit tricky.  Each side has like half a dozen main characters to choose from for creating storylines and missions.  This leaves the pool of things to shoot at extremely small.  This is “fixed” through two methods.  Each faction gets a whole mess of Drones that show up in mass from time to time.  Also there is an almost constant stream of military or police forces.  This means you’ll constantly be chased by police cars and constantly being assaulted by Ospreys and Blackout style helicopters.  The human attackers generally do little damage and mostly serve as an annoying nuisance than anything.

The drones help give a more formidable set of opponents but they aren’t without their issues either.  They come in a variety of sizes and flavors however both the Decepticons and Autobots use the exact same drones.  Also, each type has some gimmick to defeat it, two of which are extremely annoying.  The two largest types require you to throw some sort of vehicle at them to remove their defenses.  There isn’t any way around this and finding a vehicle can often be tricky.  Once you find a vehicle getting it to connect just right among the mess of police/military and everything else going on can be tricky as well.  To make things more tedious you will have to hit them 3-4 times each.  If you try to straight attack or get to close they will fling you halfway across the battle area.

Which brings up another bit of annoyance, almost every encounter has a completely arbitrary “Action Zone”.  Leaving this circle for more than about 20 seconds means instant mission failure.

The hero characters all show up of course.  Through the course of the Decepticon missions you fight Bumblebee, Jazz, Ironhide and Optimus each to their destruction, which makes a nice twist on the plot of the film.  Ironhide however is probably the most annoying boss battle ever as it involves a lot of drones, a lot of “kill stuff then fight the boss”, all while doing a lot of “stay away from the boss between rounds or he’ll fling you across the map”.  I could understand this more if you fought Ironhide as say, barricade or Scorponok but you fight as Blackout, whom is considerably larger than everyone.

The Autobots of course showdown against the Decepticons with one major twist. Shockwave shows up as a boss. He’s even a triple changer transforming from a stationary gun turret, to robot to a helicopter similar to Blackout. This is somewhat odd for several reasons. First is that no other major characters were added. Sure we have the “drones” but they are all clearly called drones implying they are nobodies. Secondly, shockwave has never gotten a movie based toy. Even the drones are all based on toy designs, Swindle, LIST DRONE TOYS. Thirdly, Shockwave is rumored to be a major player in the third Transformers film. Will his design have any relation to the one presented here. Technically the game isn’t really cannon in anyway, but it is something to question.

There is one character conspicuously absent from the game. Ratchet is not a playable character nor do you ever fight him. He makes a few short appearances in some of the CG cinematics but he doesn’t ever appear in game. Bonecrusher shows up in an NPC role during one of Starscreams missions and Brawl is fought during the Autobot quest though you never get to play as either of them. This is actually somewhat disappointing as I was hoping to play as Bonecrusher. His articulated claw could have added some interesting dynamics to the gameplay. Also Brawl is extremely small compared to his movie counterpart.

Brawl was the tank, referred to as Devastator in the first movie. He’s correctly called Brawl in the game but in the movie he was several stories tall and it took a great deal of effort by almost everyone to take him down. In the game he’s the same size as Ironhide, who turns into a larger pick up truck.

The missions themselves are decent though fairly standard for an action style game.  The Decepticon missions are probably the better set if only because the Decepticons are more varied than the Autobots and the Decepticon missions come off as less hypocritical. By Hypocritical I mean, the Autobots get penalized for “Destruction” while at the same time you have missions like “Drive around as Jazz blowing up gas stations to distract the police”.

Overall, this is an OK game, though not spectacular.  The real issues ironically come from the more “Game” like elements.

NOTE: It’s almost inconsequential but I just wanted to note that while playing this game I took screen shots of my OWN all the way through of lots of great stuff using a program to do so only to find out the program had not saved ANY of them.  So I’ve had to resort to picking up a bunch of random shots from around the web.

Review – Dance Dance Revolution (PC)

Dance Dance Revolution PC Site Banner

Dance Dance Revolution
PC (Konami)

2 Players

Here’s a little artifact that is probably fairly obscure. There was an official DDR game released for PC a while back. Except it was an exclusive product for a chain of stores not in my area (Fry’s) and to an online store I never shop at (outpost.com). And at only $10 it’s certainly cheaper than the Playstation alternatives. On the other hand it has to compete with free programs such as Stepmania. So how well does this game step up to the challenge? Not very well I’m afraid.

I guess I’ll get the positive aspects out of the way first this time, there’s really only one. The backgrounds are nice. The chance to play this game with moving animated backgrounds and the 3D dancers is a nice change of pace from the static images of Stepmania. However there isn’t really too much variety in the background movies. There are a ton of characters to chose from though. The game includes I believe 16 characters to start with, plus 8 to unlock, and another 24 that can be downloaded. That’s a lot of dancers. Once again, on the down side, the 3D models used are getting pretty dated and don’t look like they’ve been updated since they were first introduced to the series. Also there was supposed to be a 35th downloadable character but I don’t know where it would fit in the list unless there are only 7 unlockables.

Now the bad. This game is buggy as all hell. It’s a very poor port of who knows what. Other than the bugs the game reeks of laziness in general. For example, the song selection screen just breaks the songs into “Group 1”, “Group 2”, etc; No fancy classifications like in Konamix. Also all of the songs are available from the start, instead you unlock new dancers. It took me no time at all to complete all the songs on Heavy with a B or better. Yeah, only B. This game also uses the old style of scoring, anything less than a Full Combo will get you a B. Now this wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the numerous game freezes.

I have a pretty good machine, it runs 3D games and software very well, it runs Stepmania beautifully, but this game runs like shit on it. I don’t think I ever have a song where at one point the arrows just stop moving while the song continues. Sometimes I can keep the rhythm pretty well and keep things up but in a game completely dependant on timing and non-freezing gameplay, this is pretty inexcusable. Also I’ve found the first time I load the game each play, the first song will have no music. The whole game is about the music here people, this is a pretty important issue. Also timing in general is pretty flaky. Songs that I easily AA in Stepmania, (My Summer Love, Era) I can’t even A on this game.

Something else of note, the steps for End of the Century on Heavy are off. Like 3 or 4 beats off, it’s REALLY noticible and I’ve tried the song several times on different days so it wasn’t just a fluke or anything. Many of the other bugs seem like they may have been repairable had the game instealled the music to the Hard Drive instead of reading it from the CD (like it seems to do), but these completely wrong steps are just ridiculous. I guess compleyel wrong steps is too strong, they are there, just off their mark. Did anyone play test this at all?

There is also a noticeable lack of features, and songs. This game has 40 songs (see below), most pretty unremarkable bottom of the barrel stuff. Also there isn’t too much in the way of modifiers, only Little, Turn, and Hidden.

Anyway, in conclusion, even if you really want to show your support to Konami by buying this game, don’t. Don’t support this buggy shit software, if you want an official DDR pick up DDR Max on PS2, no PS2? Try Konamix on PS1, the frame rates suck but it’s still decent. If you can’t afford the Playstation versions and still want a home DDR experience just download Stepmania and get all the free songs you want. Just please don’t support this buggy horrible piece of software.

Song List:

  • Midnite Blaze
  • Share My Love
  • Let the beat hit em!
  • MY SUMMER LOVE
  • MAKE IT BETTER SO-REAL MIX
  • MAKE A JAM!,
  • B4U
  • BABY BABY
  • GIMME YOUR LOVE
  • Don’t Stop! AMD 2nd MIX
  • Era Nostalmix
  • Make Your Move,
  • Orion.78 Ameuro-MIX
  • WILD RUSH
  • CELEBRATE NITE
  • HIGHER
  • CUTIE CHASER,
  • Groove,
  • DEAD END
  • END OF THE CENTURY
  • Silent Hill
  • AFRONOVA
  • PARANOiA KCET Clean mix
  • KEEP ON MOVIN’
  • LOVE THIS FEELIN’
  • LET THEM MOVE
  • TRIP MACHINE
  • AM-3P
  • BRILLIANT2U Orchestra-Groove
  • PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME
  • PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME Jazzy Groove
  • MAKE IT BETTER
  • La Senorita
  • PARANOiA
  • DYNAMITE RAVE,
  • BRLLIANT2U
  • I Was The One
  • Never let you down
  • Get me in your sight AMD CANCUN MIX
  • STILL IN MY HEART
  • Remember You

Review – Back to the Future (NES)

Ok, let’s cut to the chase, this game sucks.

I have long pushed this game as the worst game I have ever played, though I’m not so sure about that anymore.  Back to the Future is was a pretty bad ass awesome film, even back when it was new when this game came out.  You’d think that some of that would translate to the game on SOME level but it didn’t.  It’s essentially a bastardized version of Skate Or Die that has almost zero to do with Back to the Future.

So admittedly, the expectations of what makes a video game was somewhat different back in the days of the NES.  There weren’t highly detailed cinematics and for the most part, gameplay was pretty straight forward and unvarying for most games once it got rolling.  The whole idea of the stages mixed with mini games presented here is actually pretty dynamic and an interesting idea.  If only it didn’t feel so divided from the plot of the movie it’s based on.

Marty traverse across Hill Valley battling foes straight out of the film such as giant killer bees, and guys with panes of glass and armies of bullies.  He fends them off with his trusty bowling ball.  I’m not sure there were ever any bowling balls in any of the movies even as background items.  But then yeah, it’s an 80s video games, so some liberties with the plot are probably needed.  There really isn’t a genre of game that would really work for a Back to the Future Game.  Most people just want to drive the Delorean, which these days is best accomplished with a GTA Mod.

The real killer on this game, has to be the excruciating difficulty.  A lot of old school NES games are pretty difficult.  Blaster Master, Ninja Gaiden, these are all pretty tough games which require some skill to beat.  Completed Back to the Future takes a miracle.  The first issue is the dual timers.  Each stage has a timer, this isn’t too bad, it keeps the player from lollygagging through the stage and encourages being reactive.  The game also has a second timer in the form of the fading photograph.  The photograph lasts between stages but is refilled by these little clocks.  The issue is that these two mechanisms often work completely against each other.  Picking up enough clocks to keep the photo alive will often result in the stage timer running out.

There is also the whole deal of powering up to the Skateboard.  Marty starts out on foot but can pick up a much faster skateboard.  Losing the board is pretty much a guaranteed loss vs the timer.

If you can manage to keep your skateboard and beat the timer, you get to face off against some ridiculously tough mini game “boss” stages.  Throwing beers at bullies or catching kisses and musical notes.

The icing on the cake in this excruciating run is the music.  The exact same 30 second crap repeats endlessly from more or less the moment you turn on the console to the moment the game ends.  It’s like Chinese Water torture for video games. 

The whole package is just one big terrible mess.  Probably the only reason I played it as much as I had was that at the time I owned something like 5 NES titles.  It’s a pretty crappy game, but it’s still one I remember very well for this very reason.