Reviews

Review – Metroid Prime: Hunters (NDS)

Oh my dear Metroid, where did you go wrong?

Ok, technically I’m not a Metroid fan in any sense of the word. I’ve barely played Metroid on the NES. Metroid 2 was a decent distraction for a while but I’ve since sold my copy. Metroid 3 is an outstanding piece of gaming, but one game does not a series make. I’ve pretty much skipped anything recent on the portable scene other than half an emulated game of Fusion. I don’t have a GameCube.

Enter Metroid Prime: Hunters. I was leery of a FPS style Metroid game but people had good things to say about the Game Cube version. Still, I was also leery of a portable FPS game. How will I aim? Oh right, the DS has a touch pad! It can double as a mouse. Sort of. Barely. Kind of.

The controls on this game make my hands hurt every time I play. I’ve tried different positions, I’ve tried laying the DS on a table. Nothing works. I don’t like using the L button to fire but there wasn’t much other choice considering your right hand will be devoted solely to using the stylus to aim and look around. And to occasionally make an awkward jump. Jumping on this game is accomplished by hitting any of the other buttons on the non control pad side. Essentially, you push your stylus holding right fist into the DS and hope it registers correctly. Meanwhile you’ve often got to maneuver the controls while mashing the jump like this. Controls means moving the stylus to look and pushing forward on the joy pad while looking at a tiny portable game screen (in 3D!).

Needless to say, I do no like the controls on this game. They suck a lot. But the controls aren’t the only bad part of this title.

The level designs are horrid as well!

Imagine if you will, gripping your DS in the most awkward fashion trying to explore an immersive detailed 3D world. Now replace immersive with “repetitive” and “detailed” with “ugly shades of brown and gray”. Now you’re getting closer to the Metroid Prime experience. I’ve only managed to bring myself to complete the intro level but I must have done the same corridor to spiral jumping platforms to round corridor area to large inner chamber control room path a dozen times. I felt like I was running in circles.

But wait! There’s more!

Now, while exploring these repetitive brown and gray corridors and warding off hand cramps, you also get to fight hundreds of random spawning floating enemy things. Occasionally there’s a dog sort of creature or another bounty hunter “boss” to fight but mostly you’ll occasionally fight these little floaty glowing enemies that are killed by standing in place and shooting wildly until they are gone. They spawn out of thin air for a minute or two.

Also those bosses I mentioned. I’ve faced a couple of them. They seem to use the same attack pattern. Shoot a few times, roll about randomly anytime the player gets too close. This is a problem related to the multiplayer aspect of this game. All of the characters are designed to be balanced and equal and this all have more or less the exact same abilities.

Multiplayer is even worse. I will admit hat I’m not a superstar FPS player online. I like to screw around more while playing TFC than I do trying to capture the flag. However I am not horrible and can generally hold my own pretty well when needed. I’m not a huge fan of death match either. That doesn’t change that the multiplayer on this game sucks. The maps are horribly small and the graphics are even tinier on the little screen. While you’re fighting with the controls you’ll be crushed ten times over by the guy you’re against that has enough time to master everything. Even when you get the controls down, good luck finding your opponent in the tiny view screen.

What it comes down to is a crappy idea put forth with crappy implementation. I don’t know who decided to make Metroid 3D, I don’t know who though it would be a good idea to put an FPS on a portable system, I don’t know who thought these controls were good; when I meet them I will however be forced to punch them, assuming of course my hand hasn’t become a crippled mess from trying to play this game.

Review – Anime – Kiki’s Delivery Service

Nov 6th, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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NOTE: This Review was originally posted to Anime Boredom

While not the second Miyazaki film I’ve watched, it’s the second I paid enough attention to that I could make some sort of judgment on it. While taking Japanese in High School we watched Totoro in pure Japanese (without Subtitles). I’ve vaguely paid attention to Princess Mononoki when it came on Cartoon Network a few months ago. I greatly enjoyed Spirited Away when I found it at a garage sale for 3 dollars. Recently at work we aired Kiki’s Delivery Service. I was kind of stuck monitoring some equipment repairs when we aired it so I made a point to watch it. I’d been meaning to see more of Miyazaki’s films after Spirited Away.

I can’t say I’m really much of an anime fan. Most of the series and movies I actually do enjoy are severely outdated. What I do enjoy though is a good story that’s not full out lame pseudo jokes or pointless love triangles that go nowhere for 500 episodes. That is what I see in these films. It would seem someone else sees this too since Disney has opted to dub) several Miyazaki films into English. Did I mention I hate subtitles?

Enough rambling intro then, let’s cut to the meat of this review. Kiki’s delivery service is a fairly simple film about a young beginner witch trying to make her way in the world. The time period for this film is roughly mid 1900s judging by the setting. It takes place mostly in a relatively nondescript European town. The first thing that comes off as a bit off is Kiki’s young age of thirteen to be setting out to live on her own. Honestly this and the fact that Osono (the baker woman) so quickly and readily trusts this young stranger almost immediately are my only two real complaints with the plot.

Anyway, Kiki takes up residence with Osono after helping the baker out and she starts up Kiki’s Flying Delivery Service. Despite that Kiki is a witch, her only real witch-like power seems to be the ability ot fly a broom. Well, she can also talk to her cat Jiji. She is not the type of witch to eat young children or throw fireballs at small dogs and scarecrows it seems. She doesn’t use any sort of magic to produce food or do chores either.

Which brings us to the general theme of the movie. It takes hard work to succeed and one shouldn’t give up even when you’re down. The themes in this film are actually very similar to those of Spirited Away (the other Miyazaki film I’ve reviewed). The primary difference is that this movie has less random confusing points than Spirited Away. I’d be inclined to say this film is superior to the other except it’s less visually impressive over all. The wonder and randomness in Spirited Away certainly helped add to the “epic” appeal. Some of that feel is lost in this almost down to earth film. Other than her ability to Fly, Kiki’s pretty much just an ordinary delivery girl.

Fortunately, there’s Jiji to help spice things up. Jiji has two important entertainment functions in the movie. First he gets to serve as a decoy stuffed cat at the hands of a rather bratty child and his dog. Second he gains a love interest in the form of a snooty cat.

The snooty cat actually serves a significant plot use at one point involving Jiji and Kiki’s relationship that isn’t real clear at first. I’ll have to pass on giving away too much more detail though as I’d rather not give an exposition of the entire plot. The film does build up to a fitting climax however.

And then it ends. It ends very abruptly and unexpectedly. Almost too abruptly. As soon as the climax is resolved it just sort of cuts away to a random series of Kiki doing things, presumably to demonstrate her happy life afterwards. A bit more would have been really REALLY nice.

To wrap things up then. The film is all around really good. I’d recommend watching it to anyone, especially anyone wanting to know what good anime really is. Other then the chopped off end there’s nothing to truly complain about. I don’t really use any sort of rating’s system but if they’d have given us even 5 minutes more final exposition to properly wrap this film up I’d be inclined to give it a perfect score.

Review – Final Fantasy I (Dawn of Souls) (GBA)

Oct 31st, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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SquareEnix – GBA – 1 Player

I has been brought to my attention that December 18^th was the 19 year anniversay of the original Final Fantasy. I suppose a review for Final Fantasy, even if it is the Game Boy Advance remake, should start with the story of the Origin of the Final Fantasy Title. You see, 19 years ago, Square was a failing game company. Previous hits such as “King’s Knight” and “Rad Racer” just weren’t cutting it so Square put all of it’s development power into an RPG. A Fantasy RPG. If this game failed, which they apparently expected it to, it would be the Final game that they would produce.

Hence Final Fantasy.

The game was a hit. At the time it was a revolutionary was of doing a console RPG. Games such as Dragon Quest had players controlling a single character. The had few “Boss” type enemies and little story. Final Fantasy changed all of that. While it still had little real story, it jumped ahead of Dragon Quest’s game play by leaps and bounds. Players could choose classes for their party of 4 playable characters, pick names, outfit them with a slew of weapons, magic, and armor. Each of these classes was highly distinct in nature with limitations on each.

There have since been 12 games released in the main-line Final Fantasy Series with a 13^th on its way. Each one has kept with the same basic principles of its predecessors while still innovating on the concept. Up until FFXI, the battles were always the same basic “Line up on one side against a line of enemies”. The menu commands in these battles have always been the same basic commands, Fight, Magic, Items, Flee. Other commands have popped up over time but players can almost always use these basics. On top of these 12 core games, there have been numerous spin off games such as Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy Legend, one shots like FF: Crystal Chronicles and FF: Mystic Quest, movies such as Advent Children and that Legend of the Crystals Anime, even direct sequels to several of the main line games.

Not to mention influence on pretty much every RPG following and remakes of every game before FFVII. Basically, Final Fantasy turned into Square’s cash cow. In fact they pretty much don’t make anything that isn’t directly related to Final Fantasy in some way.

Of all the games in the series, the first has been remade the most. Other than the initial release for the NES, a game I played many years ago way more than one should, it’s been remade for Cell Phones, the Wonderswan, the Playstation and now the Game Boy Advance. This latest revamp features updated graphics and sound as well. Gone are the old 8 Bit Sprites, replaced with beefy updated 16 bit graphics. Ok, yeah, 16 Bit is only one step up an it’s pretty paltry by today’s 3D standards, but it still looks really nice.

While the plot remains identical, find the four elemental crystals to unlock the gate to defeat Chaos 2000 years in the past thus creating the series’ first time paradox, the gameplay is altered quite a bit. In addition to updated 16bit style graphics comes updated 16bit style game play. Inventory is no longer limited to potions and tents and key items all on one screen, they are separated like later games. Weapons and armor are carried by everyone instead of just 4 items per character. This helps a LOT in keeping specialized weapons such as the Ruin Blade or Ogre Sword. Each character only equips items they need in the appropriate slots (Head, Armor, Accessory, Weapons.)

The most drastic change comes with the magic system. While spells are still purchased at shops, they now consume MP instead of the limited Spell Point system. This means you’re able to cast more powerful spells more frequently and sooner in the game. You no longer have to wait on that one level 9 Spell Point to pop up before casting Nuke, simple consume the necessary MP whenever you want. This actually tends to make things a lot easier. Previously you would have to carefully ration out magic points as you traveled through the various dungeons, now you can just suck down a few Ethers when needed.

These two changes not only make the game easier, they make it pass a lot faster. The game in general seems toned down a bit with less flat out enemy grinding needed in order to gain the necessary levels to traverse the next area. This makes the game less “pure” but actually helps make it more enjoyable.

Overall, this sort of RPG is still not for everyone. There is a severe lack of story and “purty movies”. Still, it’s a good classic that old school fans of the series should enjoy. The Dawn of Souls game pack also includes a copy of Final Fantasy II, which is a much better game that has seen very little light on US shores.

The game also includes several elemental themed bonus dungeons. Traveling through these dungeons will net you additional powerful weapons and armors. I do not however have the time or will to travel these dungeons as they are very long and randomly presented. If I do embark on this quest I’ll cover it in a separate review coupled with Final Fantasy II’s bonus content.

Review – Metal Gear Solid 2 (PS2)

Aug 7th, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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Metal Gear Solid 2

Konami – PS2 – 1 Player

I’ll just start by being courteous. There may be evil story spoilers in this article, though at the same times things that seem like evil story spoilers may just be exaggerations or even just made up to confuse you. With that said, It seems a recent trend in video games anymore is to simply rehash some old classic. 90% of games today are remakes or sequels to sequels. Sometimes a game comes along and tries something new and fresh though. A game with such neat innovative features the moment you play it you realize that one day this will be the stuff 2nr rate cash in remakes are made of. Then there are games like MGS2. Which go to great lengths to create “Perfectly Re-orchestrated” rehashes of their predecessors and make sure to point out in the plot itself that the game is nothing more then a cheap knockoff of it’s own brand name.

Actually there is a pretty nice point behind the game, “Anyone can be Solid Snake given the right circumstances”. It’s such an appropriate quote given the great lengths that Konami seems to have gone to in concealing the fact that you don’t really play as Solid Snake. Isn’t Konami really clever?

I mean how many people have really watched Escape From New York much less know the meaning of the word ‘Iroquois’. Anyway, other than all the blatant plot rip offs from it’s predecessor this is a really fun game. Its a bit short though I’d say. I mean I’ve played FFX for probably 120 hours counting both my save games (100 of those in one) and GTA3, Last I checked on my main save file, It was at about 120, but that was probably 80 or so hours ago. MGS2 just doesn’t have quite the same staying power I guess. Probably a good thing though, after a while I was really wondering when it would end.

Putting Seagulls to sleep is only fun for just so long you know.

The plot isn’t the only thing that makes this game similar to MGS1. For the most part if plays the same in game play. There are a few nice changes. The most subtle but possibly the hardest to get used to is that this game takes place mostly during the day. MGS1 was so dark it sometimes seems strange to be able to see for so far off to the horizon. The most useful change is the addition of first person aiming. Making shots to various parts of the body or even at certain things in the environment is a sinch with this new aiming system. Then there is the hang over the edge grip move. Which is pretty much just as useless as it sounds. Half the time the guards will see you hanging there and shoot you anyway, except instead of being in a position that allows you to act you are hanging there like a goon waiting for the bullets to hit your body.

But enough about gameplay. The gameplay is just repetetive boring filler for the even more boring hour long cut scenes. The meat of this game’s entertainment value is in the underlying comedy. I honestly think there is some huge massive parody going on here about video games. I can’t be sure though.

Anyway, first we have the lovely posters strewn pretty much everywhere in the game. You can’t stuff a dead body in a locker without finding a poster of some half naked Japanese chick hanging nearby. Or if you prefer you can always join the Russian Soldiers and look up internet porn.

Also the designers seemed to have decided Meryl was a little to butch and a bit old so they replaced her with a 12 year old girl who has no business being anywhere near this setting of this game.

Although, I’ll give her this, she is a hell of a lot more fun to fuck with than Meryl ever was. Or you can call snake pretty much anytime for lots of hilariously hokey information about the horrible twisted pasts of the villains. Let’s not forget the hours of fun you can spend listening to the CODEC near the end of the game. You people know what I’m talking about. Ohhh yeah, that’s some good stuff there. If all else fails you can see how many crazy or immature laughs you can get by fucking with the dog tags.

Oh right, Dog Tags. The game’s replay element. I suppose I’ll close with that point. Instead of just finishing the game repeatedly for bonuses like stealth and infinite ammo as per MGS1. You get to spend even MORE time holding up guards for Dog Tags. Now let me explain this a bit as before I played the game I had no idea what this entailed exactly. Basically, you walk up behind a guy enter FPS mode, and aim your gun at him. Then he stops and holds up his arms in terror. Then you circle around and jab your gun to his head (or crotch) and the guy will drop his dog tags for you to take. This is a really neat idea actually, and it’s a lot of fun…. the first several hundred times you do it.

By the time you start working on getting anything useful like Stealth, you’ll be so sick of hold ups you’ll want to toss the game in the trash and never play it again. The worst part is missing say, one guard in a certain dificulty and having to completely replay that mission to get ONE TAG. But for now I’m out of screen shots, so I’ll just say, this is indeed a pretty decent game, it was certainly hyped out the ass, so it should be at least worth a rental to even the most die hard MGS hater.

Review – Anime – Spirited Away

Sep 8th, 2005

by Ramen Junkie.

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The first time I watched Spirited Away, I came away with a so-so opinion of the film. On one hand, the animation was rather amazing and stylized, the story seemed to have some good moral messages going, it was generally entertaining; on the other hand, it was just plain weird.

It probably didn’t help that I was distracted and only half paying attention to the film. It’s still quite a surreal experience, but things tend to mesh a bit better on the second or third viewing.

The core plot follows Chihiro/Sen, a young girl, as she works her way through the bathhouse of the spirit world to save her parents. Along the way Sen learns how to live up to her fears, shows us how to appreciate others for who they are, not what they have, and generally how to keep focused on what’s right. Ok, yeah, that description comes off a little cheesy. I like to think of it as a very Japanese Alice and Wonderland. Like Alice, Sen enters her wonderland through a very large “rabbit hole” and things get really rolling along after characters eat some food that’s not quite what it’s thought to be.

One problem I have with this film is the ending. The whole story doesn’t really build up to any sort of definite ending. The events are mostly related and do lead to the expected conclusion, but something just doesn’t quite mesh. The finale comes almost out of nowhere and is fairly anti-climactic.

I suppose the cause of this effect is the large number of dominant subplots. One might really consider this to simply be a collection of smaller plots, all tied together by the bathhouse environment. On one level we have Sen trying to save her parents. Then there is No-Face, who just wants some companionship, but tries all the wrong methods to obtain it. Mixed in we have Haku and his somewhat bizarre plot to discover his true name (what was the point of this anyway). There are a few others but those three are the primary plot lines.

Another aspect of this movie: kids. I watched this movie in the company off a friend’s children the second and third time though (age 5,6, and 8). They enjoyed it a lot. There isn’t any swearing and there is relatively little violence (the attack on Haku is a bit gruesome, but nothing too horrid), it’s clean enough for kids to watch and they seem to really enjoy the elaborate world displayed before them. They didn’t get all of the parts but they seem to catch on to most aspects, probably better than I did the first time I watched it. It did leave them a bit scared at some points however, this is a somewhat frightening movie at times. The suspense in many parts is well laid out.

All in all, I’d say my opinion of this movie has only gotten better with repeated viewings. It’s not perfect mind you, but it’s quite good for what it does have.

The preceding review is based on the English Dubbed DVD version of Spirited Away.