Final Fantasy

Review – Final Fantasy VIII (PS1)

Playstation 1 – Squaresoft – 1 Player

Sometimes you play through a game, and for some reason you just know you’ve played a really good game. One good way to know that a game has got to be at least marginally good is if over the course of playing it your opinion of it completely changes. With little or no effort, you find a game you expected and did hate suddenly becomes something you enjoy playing. That is the case of Final Fantasy 8.

Before playing this game, as far as I could tell from what others were saying ti was crap. They got rid of long term things like MP. The chrachters look “realistic” insetad of like squatty SD people. The setting was very much modern and futuristic, even more so than FF7, and th eplot was supposed to be a sort of “Love Story”. In general, the whole thing changed a fair amount of long term aspects and it all seemed like a bad idea. I even went to the extend of making a running gag out of pretending the game didn’t exist on usenet.

So I finally just bought the game. I think my former employer had the game on it’s Buy One Get one sale at the time so I picked up FF8 and Coolboarders 3 (Crap). Even after playing for a good deal fo the game I really hated it. I hated the characters and constantly berated them through the game. Basically I had played all the FF games previous, and much of FF9 at the time, I figured it would be a good idea to get 8 out of the way. The characters were annoying at first, they would say and do idiotic things. Squall would blow everyone off and not care at all. They just generally seemed like a really dumb set of people. Somewhere along the plot that seemed to change. But then there had to be something to keep intrest up. That, is gameplay.

The gameplay is the strongest part of this game. For starters, the levels are pretty much unnessesary. They are still there, but the monsters level up with you. This means that if you want to run from every battle, you won’t end up getting slaughtered by the next boss you fight. In fact you can learn an ability that will disable random encounters all together. This does wonders to speed up the actual plot. I mean really, I can’t imagine anyone really plays an RPG for the chance to fight 1000s of enemies in a menu driven simulator. There are action games that are much better suited for killing baddies with more active control by the player. An RPG is something played for the story. There are still quite a few bosses to fight, but the end of th egame will be just as easy at level 7 as it is at level 100. You can still fight all those battles if you like though, I did, Squall is at level 100 (the max) and everyone else is in the mid 70s. Levels occur every 1000 exp.

So without levels, how are you supposed to become stronger? Well that is where the next gameplay aspect comes into play. You Junction magic to different stats. This requires a charcter to junction with a Guardian Force (GF, summon monster). Each GF allows a chrachter to junction a different stat, and each GF can learn new abilities as well (so you can junction to more stats, among other things). In battle and junctioned GF can be summoned at anytime assuming that GF still has HP remeaining. These usually do a lot fo big damage, however it’s better if you don’t rely on GFs a lot and rely more on Limits.

Limits, first created in FF7 return here again. if you’ve played FF9, they called this sort of effect a Trance and in FFX it’s called an Overdrive. Basically a Limit is a super powered specialty attack. Each charchter has thier own type of limit and the limits in FF8 are fairly interactive. Squall’s requires you to press the R trigger for real damage, Zell’s has the player inputting fighting game type moves, while Selphie uses the classic slot type attack seen in other FF games.The limits occur more often when HP is low, but unlike other FF games they don’t rely on the filling of a bar based on damage or anything. In fact the clincher is the spell Aura, which allows a charcter to Limit much more easily, even at full 9999 health. Generally it’s best to use Limits as a primary mode of attack witht he occasional summon thrown in. Due to junctioning Magic, you usually don’t want to use too much of it, but by the end of the game, basic spells like Thindaga and Firga aren’t used with the best junction combination, so cast all you want.

But what about the story, RPGs play for thier story not thier gameplay right? Of course. FF8 has a pretty decent story backing it. You control a group of teenagers raised by a military organization called SEED to be mercenaries. What starts out as a fairly routine mission ends up leading tot he destiney of SEED itself. Characters that start out annoying and childish grow over the story and become more mature and likeable. There is nice exposition during wonderful CG movies. The music in this game is top notch (Though I think I prefer FF7’s music really). I don’t really want to spoil the plot or anything too much. It is a sort of love story between the main charchetrs Squall and Rinoa. The others do take a backseat in chracterization to Squall and rinoa, but it is there.

So in otherwords, if you would like a great Console RPG, FF8 is a good choice. While it looses some of the “traditional RPG feel”, it makes up for it with some nice new innovations. If you like th enewer FFX you’ll surely like this game as they share a lot of similar aspects in terms of gameplay and story and look.

Review – Movie – Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

Nov 21st, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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I don’t review too many movies. Generally, I don’t find I have too much to say about most movies I watch so I steer clear of trying to do detailed reviews. However, Advent Children is one movie I found I had a lot to say on, and it’s the sequel to a game I’ve reviewed twice in one of my favorite game series that I’ve done many reviews for, so I’m sort of obligated. I’ll also add, before I get started, that this review contains spoilers for the film, so if you care about having the plot ruined, which the movie does a good job of doing itself, don’t read too much into this. Most of the spoilers are probably fairly minor and vague though if they don’t fall intot he obvious category.

Where to start. I like to go with good points before I get to bad points so we’ll go there. This movie is the most visually impressive and incredibly choreographed movie I have seen to date. It uses a very generous helping of “Game Physics” to accomplish most of it’s stunts, but the reactions and fights betweent he various characters are quick and generally believable. Of particular note are Tifa’s duel with Loz in the church and Vincent’s first appearance. The climactic battle with Bahamut was a bit lame an over the top but not for it’s effects, there are other reasons I’ll cover later why that whole section of the movie pretty much destroys the entire experience.

On the negative, what was up with the whole subplot of the brothers kidnapping the children? What were they using them for? What was the point other than to incite Cloud into attacking them? Maybe that was the point. But if so, why bring them to the town’s circle? It was very unclear. The Geostigma subplot all around was pointless and only served to add needless confusion. Still it’s something that could have been remedied with a bit more cohesion added to the plot.

On the subject of completely pointless. Why did the cast of the game show up at all? Cloud, Tifa, hell I’ll give you Vincent, they are all useful to the plot. They make sense to be there. Cait Sith residing around on Red XIII’s back? Cid and Yuffie? Why are these characters even present? They appear completely out of nowhere, charge around battling Bahamut while mutteringrandom cliché lines (almost all of Yuffie’s lines have the term “Materia” in them somewhere, she’s more obsessed than in the game). Barret makes a vague appearance through Cloud’s cell phone early on and the predominance of Marline could have almost let his presence be allowable to the plot except that it’s overshadowed by the pointlessness of the other characters.

It’s total blatant fan service. The whole movie feels this way. They actually have a fairly decent plot that goes well with the plot of Final Fantasy VII except that it’s bogged down with pointless showy fan service of “This is what a remake of FF7 would be except instead of a game you get a movie!” Cut short that overly long battle against Bahamut and give us a bit more explanation behind our villains.

Speaking of villains, the Turks make a very large reappearance. Reno and Rude are fantastic throughout the entire movie and help to pick up the rest of the slack a lot. They aren’t quite the bad guys this time around, much like in the game. In face, one might even say they are heroes. The other Turks show up for a short bit too. Unfortunately, Tseng and Elena’s appearance only serves as one of the movies largest flaws and plot holes.

In the opening scene, we overhear a radio conversation between Elena, Tseng, and Reno. Elena and Tseng are attacked, we hear the battle but we see nothing since it takes place far below us and in fog. It’s a pretty nice tension effect. Later Kadaj tells off the Turk’s leader, who serves as lame plot hole number 2 but I’ll not go into detail on that. Anyway, Kadaj tells off the Turk’s leader and tosses down the bloody badges of Tseng and Elena. It is strongly implied both have been killed. This is a great plot device and helps show that despite his overly whineyness Kadaj is indeed quite sinister and capable of killing. The fact that the blood on the badges is one of only a couple of points where the movie has any blood makes it all the more apparent, Tseng and Elena are dead.

So what do they do? They show up, much like the rest of the Hero cast, completely out of nowhere to rescue their falling leader, then to stand in a group shot of the Turk’s later on near the end. They don’t say anything in the later half of the game and their return not only makes no sense but it completely kills the relevance of two previous strong scenes.

The writers at Square need to learn that bringing people back from the dead is not a good idea. Hell the writers of Japan need to learn this. Many games and anime unceremoniously bring dead characters back negating the impact of their deaths. Thankfully Aeris does not return. The plot has absolutely nothing to do with reviving Aeris and in fact had a lot to do with Cloud letting go of her and moving on with life (Dilly-dally shilly-shally?). Aeris does make several appearances though through visions. The voice of Yuna is used and it fits extremely well for the character.

While the plot doesn’t revolve around the revival of Aeris, it does revolve around the revival of another key character. The whole movie is essentially an excuse for Square to give us a modern CG battle between Cloud and Sephiroth. While Sephiroth is extremely bad ass in the films final conflict, his presence is poorly explained for anyone who hasn’t played the game.

One last high note. Materia is present in the film, though somewhat lightly. Its use is pretty well done. Instead of joining with weaponry the orbs are merged into the person themselves. There is even a vague explanation as to what they are.

And to keep things balanced, the events revolving around Cloud during the final moments of the film after the final battle are completely needless and stupid. It just comes as a really dumb ending for an overall lame movie. If you watch this film, watch it for the fight scenes. The plot is almost good but it’s filled with so many holes that don’t necessarily need filled but just flat out don’t need to be there.

Review – Final Fantasy II (Dawn of Souls) (GBA)

Nov 7th, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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SquareEnix – GBA – 1 Player

It’s fairly common knowledge these days among gamers that the Final Fantasy II we got on the SNES in the US wasn’t actually the second game in the series. It was actually the fourth. The true second game was released on the NES. It eventually and finally made it to US shores in the Playstation “Final Fantasy Origins” collection along side the classic Final Fantasy I.

This wasn’t a straight port however, it was an updated version featuring updated 16 bit graphics. These two games would be released together again in essentially the same design on the Game Boy Advance in a pack called Final Fantasy: Dawn of Souls.

In addition to an updated 16 bit version of the game, these Dawn of Souls compilations featured additional dungeons and updated game play style. This review only covers the core game. I honestly don’t have the time or care to play through the added content.

The most impressive part of this game compared to it’s single predecessor is how modern it feels. Ok, by “modern” I mean “16 bit”. It’s hard to believe this level of presentation was ever on the 8bit NES but the game is a faithful translation. There are cut scenes and player controlled interaction in conversation all over. If I didn’t know that this was an 8-bit game with 16 bit graphics I’d swear it was originally available on the SNES and not the NES.

The plot itself is considerably more story driven as well. Final Fantasy I has a plot but it doesn’t move forward unless you talk to someone or do something, and often you only get a single cryptic sentence to guide you. Final Fantasy II changes that considerably. Also since the party consists of real characters and not generic classes, they actually get some development along the way. While you can name 4 of the party members at the beginning of this quest, one of them doesn’t make an appearance until very close to the end of the game.

That brings up another interesting aspect of this game, once again, considering it’s NES origins. The party changes over time. You get 3 constant members of the party but the 4^th slot is constantly being switched around as the plot drives it. Characters also develop skills in a useful manner, by using them. The game lacks traditional level mechanics and instead players gain stats by using weapons and doing actions. Want a quick sword fighter? Wield a sword and wear light weight armors. Need a strong magic user? Carry a staff and cast lots of spells. They will start out weak but over time they will get stronger. On that note, this game also lacks the traditional “Cure 1, Cure 2, Fire 3, naming convention. There is only one Cure spell, it gets stronger the more you use it. As a nice touch, they get have different animations in battle as they evolve.

There was one aspect of this port I didn’t care for, the sound. Generally I’m not too opinionated on music and sound effects but in this installment they are particularly annoying and generic.

Overall, this game plays somewhat like Final Fantasy I only better. When you put the two together for Dawn of Souls, you get a sure winning combination. Just a warning though, these are RPGs, and while these revamps play more briskly than their NES counterparts, they are somewhat old school in style. Personally, I’m kind of sick of the new style myself however.

Review – Final Fantasy I (Dawn of Souls) (GBA)

Oct 31st, 2006

by Ramen Junkie.

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SquareEnix – GBA – 1 Player

I has been brought to my attention that December 18^th was the 19 year anniversay of the original Final Fantasy. I suppose a review for Final Fantasy, even if it is the Game Boy Advance remake, should start with the story of the Origin of the Final Fantasy Title. You see, 19 years ago, Square was a failing game company. Previous hits such as “King’s Knight” and “Rad Racer” just weren’t cutting it so Square put all of it’s development power into an RPG. A Fantasy RPG. If this game failed, which they apparently expected it to, it would be the Final game that they would produce.

Hence Final Fantasy.

The game was a hit. At the time it was a revolutionary was of doing a console RPG. Games such as Dragon Quest had players controlling a single character. The had few “Boss” type enemies and little story. Final Fantasy changed all of that. While it still had little real story, it jumped ahead of Dragon Quest’s game play by leaps and bounds. Players could choose classes for their party of 4 playable characters, pick names, outfit them with a slew of weapons, magic, and armor. Each of these classes was highly distinct in nature with limitations on each.

There have since been 12 games released in the main-line Final Fantasy Series with a 13^th on its way. Each one has kept with the same basic principles of its predecessors while still innovating on the concept. Up until FFXI, the battles were always the same basic “Line up on one side against a line of enemies”. The menu commands in these battles have always been the same basic commands, Fight, Magic, Items, Flee. Other commands have popped up over time but players can almost always use these basics. On top of these 12 core games, there have been numerous spin off games such as Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy Legend, one shots like FF: Crystal Chronicles and FF: Mystic Quest, movies such as Advent Children and that Legend of the Crystals Anime, even direct sequels to several of the main line games.

Not to mention influence on pretty much every RPG following and remakes of every game before FFVII. Basically, Final Fantasy turned into Square’s cash cow. In fact they pretty much don’t make anything that isn’t directly related to Final Fantasy in some way.

Of all the games in the series, the first has been remade the most. Other than the initial release for the NES, a game I played many years ago way more than one should, it’s been remade for Cell Phones, the Wonderswan, the Playstation and now the Game Boy Advance. This latest revamp features updated graphics and sound as well. Gone are the old 8 Bit Sprites, replaced with beefy updated 16 bit graphics. Ok, yeah, 16 Bit is only one step up an it’s pretty paltry by today’s 3D standards, but it still looks really nice.

While the plot remains identical, find the four elemental crystals to unlock the gate to defeat Chaos 2000 years in the past thus creating the series’ first time paradox, the gameplay is altered quite a bit. In addition to updated 16bit style graphics comes updated 16bit style game play. Inventory is no longer limited to potions and tents and key items all on one screen, they are separated like later games. Weapons and armor are carried by everyone instead of just 4 items per character. This helps a LOT in keeping specialized weapons such as the Ruin Blade or Ogre Sword. Each character only equips items they need in the appropriate slots (Head, Armor, Accessory, Weapons.)

The most drastic change comes with the magic system. While spells are still purchased at shops, they now consume MP instead of the limited Spell Point system. This means you’re able to cast more powerful spells more frequently and sooner in the game. You no longer have to wait on that one level 9 Spell Point to pop up before casting Nuke, simple consume the necessary MP whenever you want. This actually tends to make things a lot easier. Previously you would have to carefully ration out magic points as you traveled through the various dungeons, now you can just suck down a few Ethers when needed.

These two changes not only make the game easier, they make it pass a lot faster. The game in general seems toned down a bit with less flat out enemy grinding needed in order to gain the necessary levels to traverse the next area. This makes the game less “pure” but actually helps make it more enjoyable.

Overall, this sort of RPG is still not for everyone. There is a severe lack of story and “purty movies”. Still, it’s a good classic that old school fans of the series should enjoy. The Dawn of Souls game pack also includes a copy of Final Fantasy II, which is a much better game that has seen very little light on US shores.

The game also includes several elemental themed bonus dungeons. Traveling through these dungeons will net you additional powerful weapons and armors. I do not however have the time or will to travel these dungeons as they are very long and randomly presented. If I do embark on this quest I’ll cover it in a separate review coupled with Final Fantasy II’s bonus content.

Review – Final Fantasy XI Beta (PC)

Jun 3rd, 2002

by Ramen Junkie.

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NOTE: This review was originally written for the PC Beta of FF11. I have no intention on ever purchasing the full version of the game as I do not like MMORPGs. (Additional Note, original date is approximate)

Apparently Final Fantasy is a lot like Star Trek. Both are only good when they end in an even number. Also both have the one exception to this rule in slot 7. Guess 7 really is a lucky number. That isn’t to stay Star Trek 1/FF1 are bad really, just really long and boring.

With the creation of Final Fantasy 11, Square has decided that the entire system needed an overhaul. Considering it hadn’t changed in 10 incarnations, all of which have done extremely well, messing with things in any excessive manner comes off as a bad idea. So are things better or worse? Well instead of keeping cliche suspense, I’ll just say it’s not worse, it’s fucking horrible.

There are to types of RPGs in the world. Well at least as far as electronics world is concerned. The basic categories are “console RPGs” and “Computer RPGs”. Computer RPGs hark from the days of DnD, with excessive leveling and stat building where the player is in more or less complete control of the hero’s actions and thoughts. These are generally slower paced and focus less on story. Console RPGs started as simplified DnD games, they have become increasingly more simple as years have progressed, which only helped to widen the gap since the days of yore. Consoles are generally limited by their method of input and inability to store lots of changing variables (stats) for long periods. Final Fantasy 1 had a large array of different weapons and armor for each character, Final Fantasy 10 has 1 type of weapon and 1 “shield” for each character. To make up however Console RPGs are generally much more character and story driven.

This has lead to a split with electronic RPG players, while some will play both, many computer RPG players find console RPGs to be too simple and linear while many console RPG players find computer RPGs to be excessively complicated and tedious. What does any of this have to do with FF11? Well for the uneducated, Final Fantasy 11 is a Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Game” or “MMORPG”. This means it’s about as Computer RPG like as you can get. It also means 50 dollars down and 10+ bucks a month to play. Have you seen or heard of Everquest? Ultima Online? If so, you’ve seen FF11.

After going through roughly 348 menus of Play Online garbage, you’ll finally be able to start playing the game. You’re greeted by the standard FMV opening. It seems some little kid’s city is attacked by a bunch of ogres or something. There is a huge battle and the kid’s sister is killed while leading him to safety. The kid returns later with a huge army of people, which turns out to be useful since the city has long been deserted and overgrown. I have no idea what this means regarding anything in the game, but it looks pretty impressive. The CG is very nice. Too bad it’s probably the only bit of CG in the entire game. FF10 had excessive CG, FF11 doesn’t have any main characters, so it likely has none.

Now you get to create your character. You can chose from 5 races, two of which are gender specific. Why the two gender specific races are not considered one race is beyond me as both of them are cat based. Anyway, you can chose from a big hulking cat guy, an anime cat-girl, male or female Elves, Male and Female Humans, or Male and Female retarded midgets. According to the FMV opening the midget things are the Black and White ages of past games, except they have “adorable” faces instead of menacing black holes. After picking a race you can select from a vaeriety of heads with selections like Squall with Brown Hair” or “Rinoa”. For the most part the heads resemble characters of old games, too bad the clothes will never match, I could go for making “Squall”. Sadly, This game is all medieval in a horribly FF9 way.

After choosing your look, you get to pick a class and start location. Start location doesn’t much matter, though you’ll probably want to Synchronize this with any friends also playing. I did not take notes, but I’m pretty sure the starting classes were just the old Final Fantasy 1 classes of Fighter, Thief, Monk, Black Mage, Red Mage, White Mage. For the record, I picked a human female with black ponytail head and Red Mage Class. At the time I figured everyone would be picking elves or stupid midgets and Female Human would be one of the least popular. Turns out Female Humans are all over. At least she has a NICE ASS. Red Mage seemed like a good idea since they generally start strong but end weak and I’m not likely to be playing too far into this garbage.

So the game starts off, I’m in the middle of a huge town and a bit of story flashed by as my character walks along. Finally I am instructed to visit Reet who has nothing better to do than stand around all day helping NOOBEEs like myself. Reet didn’t seem all that interesting though and I had a friend in the same room to help out anyway. That same friend went and bought me a bunch of good armor then told me “Don’t fight anything that’s not a bee or a worm” before leaving to places unknown in the world of FF11. So I spent the next two hours fighting giant Hornets and Tunnel Worms and attained the almighty status of level 4. Unfortunately that’s pretty much all I accomplished. The enemies hadn’t dropped a single piece of gil and I hadn’t completed any sort of quests. Instead I had a large collection of Elemental Crystals and Insect Wings which I sold and bought a sword with. At that point it was getting pretty late so I decided to give it up for a while.

This seems like a good place to talk about the battles. In previous Final fantasy games, your party of characters would wander the world map until attacked at random. The screen then does some sort of crazy transition effect as battle music starts playing. Everyone lines up on one side of the screen while the monsters line up opposite. Each round you pick a command for your characters to execute such as magic or fight. In FF11 you wander the map, all the enemies are clearly visible, none of them attack without provocation (NOTE Some later enemies will attack). To initiate a battle you click on the enemy and select “Attack”. If you’re in range, the battle will start and all you are required to do is stand there until either the enemy dies, or you die. You can move your character around during the battle but it has no impact on the battle itself. I found myself running back and forth around the enemy in hopes that because the bee didn’t actually hit me with its attack animation I would not take damage. This never actually occurred though, you take damage anyway, even if you are 20 feet behind the enemy when it strikes.

After learning some magic you can interact with battle a little more, however the spells all seem to do damage equal to roughly half a regular attack so chances are you’ll just end up standing there staring at the enemy anyway. Cure is just as bad as you’ll take damage equivalent to whatever you heal in the time it takes to cast the spell.

After the battle you’ll find some items probably and gain a bit of experience. Like most computer RPGs experience levels are increasingly difficult to obtain. For example, to get to level 2 you’ll need like 500 exp, but level 3 will take 750 exp. By the time you are going from level 98-99, you’ll need approximately 1 octillion experience. In layman’s terms, at 50 exp a monster, that is “A Whole Fucking Lot”.

Both during battles and while wandering the map you’ll have a choice between 3rd person or 1st person views. While it’s slightly easier to navigate in first person view, I find it frustratingly limited. After playing so many First Person Shooters, I feel like I should be able to easily leap over those pesky fences and rocks as I navigate the world or I should be furiously clicking away with my sword and wailing on the enemy during battles. Everything is menu based. You can easily walk around the world while navigating your status and item menus.

Well, easily depends on location. So far I’ve found that during the daytime hours, while trying to fight off hornets in the desert, my course disappears completely. The sand is both blindingly bright and the same color as the courser. I’ve encountered a similar problem in another area where you enter a dark cave. The entrance is full of black pillars that are more or less invisible, it’s easy to get hung up on them.

Speaking of navigating the world. The areas are HUGE. You’ll want a powerful graphics card to run this game on your PC. You can see for miles with little to no fog and full frame rates. Unfortunately it’s a little too huge. The massive areas are just another aspect that makes this game so frustratingly boring (aside from excessive level requirements and boring missions). It takes like 5 minutes to get anywhere in the city and the dungeons are confusingly shaped (I got lost in one cave) and they really should have a map function. The town could easily have been one screen in size with everything closer together. The town could have easily been only one “screen” in size with everything more compacted. I’m sure they were trying for “realism” but frankly, I can only take so many trips across town to sell off my useless crystals before I get tired and leave to play something else. I guess the other alternative motivation was to give players plenty of room to walk around. Presumably if you had a couple of thousand people wandering around the town it would get pretty crowded. I can’t see that situation ever occurring though.

So a few days later I decided to return to the game. People are claiming there actually is a plot buried in here somewhere and I still haven’t done any missions anyway. After returning to Reet to learn where I can pick up missions (Reet wasn’t helpful here either and I still had to wander around looking for the guardhouse). My mission (which I chose to accept) was to find the foreman of the mine and pick up a report, then deliver it to some guy at the Presidential Office. After a 5 minute jog to the nearby mines, I proceeded to search the area for the foreman. Lucky for me the guard handing out missions neglected to give me any clue as to where to find this foreman other than “At the Mines”. After talking to every NPC in the area for some hope of a clue I decided to enter the mine itself. I was fairly well armed and leveled after all, I should have nothing to worry about. It turns out the mine is just as large as the city and just as populated. After wandering aimlessly for a half hour talking to all the NPCs, I finally found a foreman. NOTE: A foreman. This foreman informed me I must go “deeper in the mines” to find the person I wanted. At least I had finally found a helpful NPC. So I proceeded into the deeper undeveloped part of the mine, which turned out to be full of bats or various types, I finally found the foreman and picked up my orders.

I’d like to take a moment to pause here and discuss the item system. During my initial search for the foreman, I was offered a reward for killing monsters in the mines. All I had to do was bring him 3 “Pinches of Soot” to prove I was there. During my wandering, I fought many monsters and did indeed win my three Pinches. Unfortunately I also discovered I have an item cap of 30 items, half of which was already tied up in equipment it wouldn’t let me sell (Apparently you can’t sell starting equipment). So I had to drop a bunch of worthless sounding items and fight even more monsters to win back what I already had won. I should also point out that items don’t seem to “stack”, meaning my inventory would have say two “Wind Crystal x 1” instead of one “Wind Crystal x 2”. In the end I couldn’t find the guy offering the reward once I had left the cave so I only ende up feeling ripped off and pissed.

Back to the subject of huge worlds and leaving the cave. I actually managed to find the foreman pretty quick once I got down in the cave. It took me another hour to find my way back out. While I have a map of the town and the nearby desert, I don’t seem to start with a map of the cave. Eventually I ran into another player who escorted me to the exit.

Report in hand I made my way to the President’s office, hoping for some sort of payment or reward, after all, I wasn’t getting much gil from these hornets and worms. Of course I ended up with an all too familiar feeling. You see there is a reoccurring theme in this game. Basically you, as the player are given some sort of quest or order. This order is accompanied by zero clue as to where the end location actually is or what you’re actually supposed to do when you get there. Basically what I’m saying here is, like the Mission Giving Guard, The Foreman, and the Mine Exit, the President’s office was not on the map. This of course lead to another bout of boring wandering talking to NPCs with nothing useful to say. For future reference to anyone reading this. The President’s office is in the Metalworks. Eventually I managed to get this bit of info out of a guard on the other side of the town from the mine. Once again though, I got to wander around the Metalworks with no clue as to where to go. This time however the problem stems from that reoccurring texture problem. You see the Metalworks had two levels to it, but the elevator is the same shade of brown as everything else in the game, so it completely blends in until you see someone riding on it.

After even more wandering talking to NPCs looking for a clue the mission was completed. No reward though, and I imagine this same mission is given to all the players. Why this guard needs reports delivered to him ever few minutes by whichever sap adventurer happens by next is beyond be but hey, I’m just glad to be done with this boring fetch quest. Now maybe I’ll get a real quest. Infiltrate the Shinra headquarters maybe while getting detailed plot information regarding Ancients. Oh wait, MMORPGS don’t have real plots. Back to the Mission Guard. Job two is to meet up with Cid to do some geological surveying. Maybe that mine job isn’t looking so bad after all. After going back to the President’s office, (NOTE: the guard is literally on the other side of the town from the Metalworks), I talk to Cid who wants me to take an Acidity tester out to… somewhere… and see if it changes color. I would like to point out that testing the acidity level of an area is not Surveying. Not wanting to argue I set off to complete my task. This time I felt a bit more confident as Cid had actually told me “It’s near South Gustaberg”, meaning “the desert”. Well of course when I get to the desert there is nothing labeled on my map anything remotely similar to where I’m supposed to take his acidity tester, so I finally decided the game was shit and gave up.

So, if you like having nails driven into your skull, I’d suggest picking this game up when it’s released! I mean repeated fetch quests where you’re given no clue where to go are such awesome fun! Here is hoping that Final Fantasy 12 doesn’t such this much ass. In the mean time, I’ll be giving my money to Valve (Half Life 2) and Bungi (Halo PC) over Square.

Just one final note. I’ve consulted with some people farther along in the game than I managed. It’s more of the same garbage for the rest of the trip.