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Digimon World

Review – Digimon World (PS1)

I think it is best to start out by saying that I like Digimon in general. I like it a lot really. Season 2 was stupid, but Season 1 and 3 are great. In the whole Pokemon vs Digimon thing I pick Digimon hands down. The monsters are much more bad ass, the story is ten times better than “Let’s train our monsters to kill eachother for prizes!”. Anyway, I really like Digimon. So hey, a Digimon Playstation game! Neat. And it’s an RPG. How can you lose?

Well apparently pretty fucking easily. Digimon World, is one of the worst game I have ever played. And I have played a LOT of games. Off the top of my head I’d say it’s the worst Playstation game I have played for sure. This is probably the only game of the many I own I regret buying, at full fucking price no less. I think I bought this game the day it came out for 40 dollars. What a rip off. I would have gotten more entertainment (both quality and time wise) out of burning fourty one dollar bills in my backyard. I think I played this game for like an hour before becoming completely pissed at it and never played it again.
Let’s start with the good I suppose. The graphics are nice. The people look really stupid, but the monsters all look pretty cool. The environments are pretty detailed as well. That’s it I think.
Now what we are all here for, the bad parts. Gameplay. This game has as much gameplay as a dead slug. No wait, that’s an overstatement, a dead slug would still have some fun parts, like pouring salt on it or splatting it on a wall or some shit. Anyway, don’t go into this game expecting a game like Pokémon only with Digimon characters. Its nothing like that. Pokémon the game is pretty fun. Maybe you are instead expecting some sort of RPG that follows the story of the show. Don’t go for that either. None of the show kids appears in this game. Why they didn’t just make an RPG based on ths how is beyond me.

What DO you get for your hard earned money? A really pretty looking Tomagotchi that isn’t portable unless you have one of those LCD deals and a battery pack of some sort for your Playstation. You will spend more time cleaning up your monster’s shit and feeding it than you will actually battling other monsters. I swear this thing is worse than having a real fucking pet. It is always hungry or tired or needing to shit. Well ok, raising a Tomagotchi isn’t that bad really. Here is the kicker. You get like 1 piece of food or per day for your monster. That will last it like 3 hours then it’ll be hungry again. Also unless you want your Monster to turn into something crappy when it evolves, you have to take it to one of the 2 toilets on the whole island. Did I mention you’ll never make it to these toilets in time and it’ll shit itself all over the place anyway.

But wait! That’s not all folks! Yes battles. Well its more like “Sit and watch two monsters wander aimlessly for an hour while you scream and pound the controller hoping something happens” than a battle. You don’t control the monster in the battle. The battles are really slow, the monsters will wander around and hit each other every few minutes.In the meantime you provide moral support by cheering the monster on. You can also train in a training ground to make your monster stronger. Which is a necessity if you want your monster to actually win any battles.

Let me describe the several games I played of this now for you. So you can get the big picture. In the begening I picked Augumon to start with. I don’t know what Gabumon is supposed to be but it looks kind of lame next to the Dinosaurlike Augumon, so I picked Augumon. Plus Augumon is supposed to turn into the big kick ass War Greymon. After loosing several battles. Or maybe it was winning. Anyway, battles give shitty stat increases, I found the training grounds. After lots of hard training generally I could finally win battles pretty easily and start working on the story. Actually I’m not sure what the story is exactly, something to do with bringing Digimon back to the Digimon village. Finally my Monster Digivolves. Ok, I went through like TWENTY Digimon in my time playing this game, each time, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to raise it right, it would end up trning into the SHIT EATING SHIT MONSTER. This thing is weak as fucking hell and looks completely retarded. I think once I ended up with “Tentacle Rape Mon” and another time I had a Seadramon. The funny thing is, I once saw a post on a message board of somone who was TRYING to get the shitty shit monster. Aparently they had gotten all the other monsters and that was the last one they needed. HEY GUY LET ME PLAY YOUR GAME THAT THING IS THE ONLY ONE I CAN EVER GET.

Well there are slight advantages to having the shit monster. You don’t have to feed it. Just let it crap on the ground it will feed itself. That’s right, it eats it’s own fucking feces. Actually now I’m wondering why I hated this game. Not too many games let you own a monster that eats it’s own shit. Anyway, after getting the shit monster it would eventually die for no apparent reason then the leader of the village would bitch to be about taking better care next time ad he would give me a fresh monster to corrupt. I suppose there is a good chance my monsters kept dying due to thier diet of shit but I’d like to think otherwise. Anyway, After a good time of playing I got tired of trainign my monster up to a good level only to have it die or scat poisoning, plus I had only managed to do one quest, at least I think it was a quest, anyway, I finally got sick of this piece of shit game and decided to hate it forever. I think if I had my shit monster here it would probably really enjoy eating this one.