Lameazoid.com Rotating Header Image

PC

Review – Beat Hazard (PC)

Somewhere along the way, the “Sh’Mup” or “Shoot Em Up” genre evolved and became the “Bullet Hell” Genre.  Play styles and enemy patterns from games like R-Type, or Gradius remail but there is a lot more going on in the playing field than older systems could handle.  Hell there’s probably more going on in a single screen of a modern Shoot Em up game than happened in an entire round of Gradius.  Since the screen is covered in action and well, bullets, the term Bullet Hell is used.

If you want to go way back, Asteroid is essentially the grand daddy of this genre.  They come in two flavors, games like R-Type which scroll along in one direction as enemies attack and the player navigates a stage or Asteroid types where the screen generally stays stationary and the player navigates around the screen defending his or herself.

Beat Hazard falls into the latter type.

It has most of the common elements of this genre, lots of action, everything is glowing and neon colored, power ups, score multipliers and a general dependence on score as a game mechanic.  What sets this game apart is it’s musical gimmick.

As you play, your weapon becomes more powerful or weaker to the music playing in the background.  If there is a quiet moment, you’ll shoot tiny single bullets.  If it’s jamming a guitar riff, the screen will light up and glow as you stream energy all over the screen.  This is also augmented by the power ups.  You collect Volume and Power emblems.  The Volume makes the music get louder and increases the spread and coverage of your weapons.  Power pickups increases the music’s power, makes it sound less flat and causes your weapons to do more damage.  when you max out both Power and Volume you unlock “Beat Hazard” mode and become a very powerful force.

The game’s built in tracks are pretty good but the real fun comes in playing your own tracks.  Beat Hazard is compatible with any MP3 files you want to play.  For a $1 DLC fee you can add AAC and MP4 files from iTunes (this is to cover the license to play AAC).

The biggest drawback of this game is it’s lack of variety.  The levels are more or less randomly generated based somewhat on the music choices but the number of different enemies you encounter are few.  There’s some large garbage ball asteroid things, some small and medium ships that simply fly back and fourth, some larger ships that follow you around a small boss which shows up in pairs and a larger boss.  That’s it.  There’s a new DLC pack slated for release this year which promises to add some more enemies however. 

There’s also a bit of a simplicity aspect to the game play.  It’s not real hard to beat most levels by dodging things and spinning your aiming target (mouse) win circles shooting everything around you.  This doesn’t work on the bosses and often it’s effective to stop and concentrate fire on the landing point of the enemies but when things get busy this simple strategy will most likely pull you through.  Also, mostly a minor nitpick, the larger ships that follow you around could stand to be slightly less tough.  They tend to snake after you and it’s easy to get trapped in a corner.

The game also features a leveling system that actually does a pretty good job of keeping itself relevant.  The early stages and difficulties are easily doable on the lower rankings but the later stages become difficult very quickly without leveling up your a rank.  There isn’t a direct “one level means more damage” relationship but you’ll earn helpful abilities like “Start with 20x Multiplier” and “Start with +1 Volume”.

It’s still a blast to play despite it’s flaws.  Especially if you are a fan of the genre and fast paced heavy Rock/Techno music.  Be warned though, the game itself warns, there is heavy use of strobe style bright effects and anyone prone to seizures caused by such things should really steer clear.  the game’s warning isn’t joking.

Beat hazard is available via Steam.

Review – Portal 2 (PC)

Probably one of the most anticipated games released this year, it was proceeded by a gimmicky and ultimately disappointing Augmented Reality Gaming blitz, loads of hype, actual television commercials, and generally, a large bit to live up to.  People love Portal 1, and they should, it’s an amazing game that did a lot to make us rethink what an FPS game was supposed to be.  Specifically the idea that you must run around shooting and killing things.  It also gave us the amazing Portal Gun.  i remember first hearing about Portal many years ago in a magazine and an explanation of how the Portal Gun would work and it seemed really really intriguing.

Portal 1 also had a great narrative to go along with it.  There is only one real character, the demented yet sympathetic GladOS.  She starts off encouraging but as time goes along she becomes a bit meaner but she still keeps up her robotic test obsessed demeanor for most of the game while still trying to kill you… in the name of SCIENCE!  It’s a great concept, the game itself is a test, even after the twist, you still kind of get the feeling that it’s all part of the same test.  In fact even after the game is over, you get the sense that the whole thing was all part of some planned out plot.

Portal 2, picks up essentially where Portal 1 left off.  In fact, the plot of Portal 2 pretty much doesn’t work unless you play through Portal 1.  At the end of Portal one you get dragged back for more testing, Portal 2 starts off with you locked away in your small Aperture Science apartment.  Some time passes due to a malfunction of the equipment, likely caused by the lack of a central controller due tot he actions taken by the player in Portal 1.  After being “rescued” by the drone Wheatley, you start off, once again, navigating test chambers.

One of my favorite aspects of this entire game is the ruins of Aperture Science.  Early in the game, you revisit almost every area from Portal 1 in a revamped depressed state.  In fact you start off early in the very same glass chamber from the first game.  Fairly quickly you end up in the same regions from the end of the first game as well.  This whole experience is greatly enhanced by familiarity with the first game as it’s very recognizable and you see it and know “GladOS is there…”  Or was there.  You don’t really know until you make it back inside.  It gives a great sense of suspense and creepiness knowing that this is where you were before, last time it was all a test, tests and test  and tests, is it still a test?

Of course the game wouldn’t be very much fun if it were just “Portal 1 with more trees”, so after some more plot twists, the player will embark on a whole new adventure through the history of Aperture Science.

This too is handled pretty interestingly.  You escape from the ruined modern era Aperture, and find your way to the ruins of the very early Aperture.  Guided by the recorded voice of Cave Johnson, founder of Aperture you must traverse some very rough early test chambers.  This also introduces another Aperture product, the Propulsion and repulsion gels.  One type of gel will cause the player, or other objects, to travel at great speeds, like some sort of super grease.  The other will cause the player to be pushed off, useful for jumping higher or bouncing from one location to another.

There are also some new devices to content with called Hard Light Bridges.  These can be positioned using the Portals and are essentially clear platforms of light that you use to travel over chasms, stop objects, or protect yourself from Turrets.

Other new devices, in addition to the plasma balls used previously to power equipment there are now also lasers which can be directed using prism style mirror cubes.

All of these new tools are pretty unique and interesting and make for some interesting new twists on the old Portal Gun puzzles.  The puzzles are of course the main driver of the gameplay.  The interesting story and plot going on in the background i just an excellent bonus that helps solidify the game as a whole.  I’m doing my best to avoid any real spoilers here but sufficed to say, the game climaxes out pretty well and you’ll have to use most of the tricks you’ve learned in the end to escape destruction and ‘save the day”, or at least save yourself.

To top things off, the game includes a multiplayer Coop mode.  The player and one other companion can play a 2 player mode where each controls a robot instead of the human Chel.  These courses are pretty cleverly designed to require both players and it is quite a bit of fun.  The real issue seems to be finding people to play with as there isn’t much replay incentive on the multi player Coop.

The game really does live up to it’s hype.  I do have two main complaints.  Firstly, there is a serious lack of Turrets in this game.,  Granted, for the most part, the turrets are kind of annoying to deal with sometimes but they do add some difficulty to what is otherwise a “think for a bit and go” style of gameplay.  Things shooting at you help keep you on your toes and force you to think more quickly.  The lack of turrets is more or less explained by the plot but it’s kind of disappointing, especially when Old Aperture could easily have had “Old Turrets not affected by the plot gimmick.

Secondly is the pricing.  The original asking price for portal 2 was $50 bucks, it’s now down to $30.  I hate complaining about pricing since I know I am spoiled to death by sales and cheap indie games but $50 is WAY too much.  $30 is more reasonable.  Generally speaking, the game takes 10-15 hours to complete, max.  The original is about a 5 hour game, just for a comparison.  $30 is more reasonable though it still seems a little steep.

So here’s the deal, Portal 2, is pretty much everything it’s expected to be.  It looks great, the story is fun, the puzzles are interesting, etc etc.  It’s essentially, Portal 1, plus a lot more, in a sense, and it continues to carry over the fun of Portal 1.  The real problem, like Portal 1, is there isn’t much incentive to replay it at all.  Kind of a disappointment there.  Even the multiplayer, by design, isn’t really replayable, once you’ve figured everything out.  This is the only real drawback I found with the entire game, other than the related secondary problem of game length vs price.  there has been promises of some DLC or map editors or something to help extend the value from Valve but as far as I can tell they have not even added anything new to buy to the Portal 2 store, which brings them in bonus money.

Portal 2 is available via Steam.

Review – Transformers the Game (PC)

I’ve been a bit behind here on my Transformers themed gaming here.  I have yet to really get into any of the latest 3D incarnations of Transformers video games until recently.  i figure the best thing to do would be to start at the beginning.  Unfortunately, Transformers (Armada) isn’t available on the PC so I’m going for the game based on the first movie game.  Keep in mind also, while I played the PC version, I’m pretty sure it’s essentially the same as the console versions for PS2, Xbox360, and PS3.  It’s probably marginally different than the DS version however.

This is a game with a bit of extremes going for it.  I’ll start with the good extremes because, generally good = boring.  The graphics are pretty swank.  Everything looks really nice, there’s a ton of great particle effects and every character looks pretty much the way they should.  As a bonus, the numerous cut scenes, as corny as they may be, are well animated and fluid as well.  The action and Transformation gimmick is used fairly effectively as well, though more so for land based vehicles (more on this in a bit).  My only complaint with the transformation gimmick is the “button” for how to do it is not in the controls options, which mean I had to putz with things until I figured it out (it’s mouse wheel up).

Speaking of controls, let’s move on the the extreme of bad.  The controls are mostly decent, except for the flying sequences.  Controlling Megatron wasn’t so bad but Blackout and Starscream have extreme issues with the up and down precision.  It’s possible this was just my machine or something but it makes flying anywhere almost impossible.  Thankfully it’s never ever necessary.  Even the mission  where you have to shoot down 20 jets can be done by standing on the ground shooting rockets at them as they very slowly fly by.

Assuming you can lock on to them.  The next major gripe I have with this game is the incessant military/police.  You see, due to the nature of the film, creating things to fight and DO on missions was a bit tricky.  Each side has like half a dozen main characters to choose from for creating storylines and missions.  This leaves the pool of things to shoot at extremely small.  This is “fixed” through two methods.  Each faction gets a whole mess of Drones that show up in mass from time to time.  Also there is an almost constant stream of military or police forces.  This means you’ll constantly be chased by police cars and constantly being assaulted by Ospreys and Blackout style helicopters.  The human attackers generally do little damage and mostly serve as an annoying nuisance than anything.

The drones help give a more formidable set of opponents but they aren’t without their issues either.  They come in a variety of sizes and flavors however both the Decepticons and Autobots use the exact same drones.  Also, each type has some gimmick to defeat it, two of which are extremely annoying.  The two largest types require you to throw some sort of vehicle at them to remove their defenses.  There isn’t any way around this and finding a vehicle can often be tricky.  Once you find a vehicle getting it to connect just right among the mess of police/military and everything else going on can be tricky as well.  To make things more tedious you will have to hit them 3-4 times each.  If you try to straight attack or get to close they will fling you halfway across the battle area.

Which brings up another bit of annoyance, almost every encounter has a completely arbitrary “Action Zone”.  Leaving this circle for more than about 20 seconds means instant mission failure.

The hero characters all show up of course.  Through the course of the Decepticon missions you fight Bumblebee, Jazz, Ironhide and Optimus each to their destruction, which makes a nice twist on the plot of the film.  Ironhide however is probably the most annoying boss battle ever as it involves a lot of drones, a lot of “kill stuff then fight the boss”, all while doing a lot of “stay away from the boss between rounds or he’ll fling you across the map”.  I could understand this more if you fought Ironhide as say, barricade or Scorponok but you fight as Blackout, whom is considerably larger than everyone.

The Autobots of course showdown against the Decepticons with one major twist. Shockwave shows up as a boss. He’s even a triple changer transforming from a stationary gun turret, to robot to a helicopter similar to Blackout. This is somewhat odd for several reasons. First is that no other major characters were added. Sure we have the “drones” but they are all clearly called drones implying they are nobodies. Secondly, shockwave has never gotten a movie based toy. Even the drones are all based on toy designs, Swindle, LIST DRONE TOYS. Thirdly, Shockwave is rumored to be a major player in the third Transformers film. Will his design have any relation to the one presented here. Technically the game isn’t really cannon in anyway, but it is something to question.

There is one character conspicuously absent from the game. Ratchet is not a playable character nor do you ever fight him. He makes a few short appearances in some of the CG cinematics but he doesn’t ever appear in game. Bonecrusher shows up in an NPC role during one of Starscreams missions and Brawl is fought during the Autobot quest though you never get to play as either of them. This is actually somewhat disappointing as I was hoping to play as Bonecrusher. His articulated claw could have added some interesting dynamics to the gameplay. Also Brawl is extremely small compared to his movie counterpart.

Brawl was the tank, referred to as Devastator in the first movie. He’s correctly called Brawl in the game but in the movie he was several stories tall and it took a great deal of effort by almost everyone to take him down. In the game he’s the same size as Ironhide, who turns into a larger pick up truck.

The missions themselves are decent though fairly standard for an action style game.  The Decepticon missions are probably the better set if only because the Decepticons are more varied than the Autobots and the Decepticon missions come off as less hypocritical. By Hypocritical I mean, the Autobots get penalized for “Destruction” while at the same time you have missions like “Drive around as Jazz blowing up gas stations to distract the police”.

Overall, this is an OK game, though not spectacular.  The real issues ironically come from the more “Game” like elements.

NOTE: It’s almost inconsequential but I just wanted to note that while playing this game I took screen shots of my OWN all the way through of lots of great stuff using a program to do so only to find out the program had not saved ANY of them.  So I’ve had to resort to picking up a bunch of random shots from around the web.

Review – Dance Dance Revolution (PC)

Dance Dance Revolution PC Site Banner

Dance Dance Revolution
PC (Konami)

2 Players

Here’s a little artifact that is probably fairly obscure. There was an official DDR game released for PC a while back. Except it was an exclusive product for a chain of stores not in my area (Fry’s) and to an online store I never shop at (outpost.com). And at only $10 it’s certainly cheaper than the Playstation alternatives. On the other hand it has to compete with free programs such as Stepmania. So how well does this game step up to the challenge? Not very well I’m afraid.

I guess I’ll get the positive aspects out of the way first this time, there’s really only one. The backgrounds are nice. The chance to play this game with moving animated backgrounds and the 3D dancers is a nice change of pace from the static images of Stepmania. However there isn’t really too much variety in the background movies. There are a ton of characters to chose from though. The game includes I believe 16 characters to start with, plus 8 to unlock, and another 24 that can be downloaded. That’s a lot of dancers. Once again, on the down side, the 3D models used are getting pretty dated and don’t look like they’ve been updated since they were first introduced to the series. Also there was supposed to be a 35th downloadable character but I don’t know where it would fit in the list unless there are only 7 unlockables.

Now the bad. This game is buggy as all hell. It’s a very poor port of who knows what. Other than the bugs the game reeks of laziness in general. For example, the song selection screen just breaks the songs into “Group 1”, “Group 2”, etc; No fancy classifications like in Konamix. Also all of the songs are available from the start, instead you unlock new dancers. It took me no time at all to complete all the songs on Heavy with a B or better. Yeah, only B. This game also uses the old style of scoring, anything less than a Full Combo will get you a B. Now this wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the numerous game freezes.

I have a pretty good machine, it runs 3D games and software very well, it runs Stepmania beautifully, but this game runs like shit on it. I don’t think I ever have a song where at one point the arrows just stop moving while the song continues. Sometimes I can keep the rhythm pretty well and keep things up but in a game completely dependant on timing and non-freezing gameplay, this is pretty inexcusable. Also I’ve found the first time I load the game each play, the first song will have no music. The whole game is about the music here people, this is a pretty important issue. Also timing in general is pretty flaky. Songs that I easily AA in Stepmania, (My Summer Love, Era) I can’t even A on this game.

Something else of note, the steps for End of the Century on Heavy are off. Like 3 or 4 beats off, it’s REALLY noticible and I’ve tried the song several times on different days so it wasn’t just a fluke or anything. Many of the other bugs seem like they may have been repairable had the game instealled the music to the Hard Drive instead of reading it from the CD (like it seems to do), but these completely wrong steps are just ridiculous. I guess compleyel wrong steps is too strong, they are there, just off their mark. Did anyone play test this at all?

There is also a noticeable lack of features, and songs. This game has 40 songs (see below), most pretty unremarkable bottom of the barrel stuff. Also there isn’t too much in the way of modifiers, only Little, Turn, and Hidden.

Anyway, in conclusion, even if you really want to show your support to Konami by buying this game, don’t. Don’t support this buggy shit software, if you want an official DDR pick up DDR Max on PS2, no PS2? Try Konamix on PS1, the frame rates suck but it’s still decent. If you can’t afford the Playstation versions and still want a home DDR experience just download Stepmania and get all the free songs you want. Just please don’t support this buggy horrible piece of software.

Song List:

  • Midnite Blaze
  • Share My Love
  • Let the beat hit em!
  • MY SUMMER LOVE
  • MAKE IT BETTER SO-REAL MIX
  • MAKE A JAM!,
  • B4U
  • BABY BABY
  • GIMME YOUR LOVE
  • Don’t Stop! AMD 2nd MIX
  • Era Nostalmix
  • Make Your Move,
  • Orion.78 Ameuro-MIX
  • WILD RUSH
  • CELEBRATE NITE
  • HIGHER
  • CUTIE CHASER,
  • Groove,
  • DEAD END
  • END OF THE CENTURY
  • Silent Hill
  • AFRONOVA
  • PARANOiA KCET Clean mix
  • KEEP ON MOVIN’
  • LOVE THIS FEELIN’
  • LET THEM MOVE
  • TRIP MACHINE
  • AM-3P
  • BRILLIANT2U Orchestra-Groove
  • PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME
  • PUT YOUR FAITH IN ME Jazzy Groove
  • MAKE IT BETTER
  • La Senorita
  • PARANOiA
  • DYNAMITE RAVE,
  • BRLLIANT2U
  • I Was The One
  • Never let you down
  • Get me in your sight AMD CANCUN MIX
  • STILL IN MY HEART
  • Remember You

Review – Eufloria (PC)

Most real time strategy games involve military conflict of some sort.  It’s part of the genre really, one military force against another, at war, requiring the player to take strategic command.  Eufloria does an interesting job of almost breaking this mold.  Technically it’s still centering around a conflict, though instead of tanks and soldiers you fight with plant seeds. 

The conflict is certainly more peaceful when it involves plants.  The light graphics and airy music and sound effects make this a fairly relaxing and serine experience to play. 

The object is to control a region of planetoids before the opponent destroys your forces.  In order to control a planet you will have to sacrifice some of your seedlings to plant new trees, the trees will in turn spawn more seedlings over time.  Most of the trees will anyway, there are also defensive trees which will instead provide protection from enemy forces.  The planets themselves have different energy levels as well and will spawn faster or stronger seedlings depending on the planet’s attributes.

In the early stages it is fairly easy but over time the enemy colonies become more aggressive and will have better defenses.  The real key to combat is advantages in numbers, which means owning more planets.  Unfortunately, this is where the game play starts to fall apart.  Later stages become quickly and easily overwhelming, especially as the enemy starts deploying the large flower pods which can easily wipe out even a large army of seedlings with little to no effort.  Much of the play time involved is essentially just sitting and waiting for more seedlings to spawn.  When one of the notes in the update is “Updated the gameplay to be faster-paced and more interesting, with more strategic balance” you’ve got issues.  Thankfully they put some effort into correcting it.  Even so there is a LOT of “sit and wait” gameplay here, especially when you start facing defensive trees which will require large numbers of seed pods to overcome them.

Another minor issues I’ve had, the game doesn’t seem to always record progress made properly.  This admittedly may have been an error on my part though it was a bit frustrating when I found I had to replay the first ten or so levels after I’d already completed them.

Generally the game is a fun departure from the traditional strategy game.  The design is simple though definitely more complex than it seems on the surface.  It is hindered somewhat buy it’s slowish pacing but it’s still a pretty enjoyable experience.  My recommendation however would still be to look for it on some sort of sale as the base price of $15 is a little high for what you get