Final Fantasy 7: Its a Wonderful Fantasy
By Ramen Junkie

  Tifa watched the ground as it passed by beneith the Highwind.  Even though they were
traveling at a great speed the ground seemed to creep by at this height.  She was feeling 
exceptionally down at the moment, no matter how hard she tried Cloud and Cid would always
fight.  Plus she ust didn't feel like she had any real purpose among the crew.

  "It would be so easy... to just leap off right now," muttered Tifa to herself.  "I bet 
they wouldn't even notice."

  "Oh they'd notice all right!" cried a familiar voice.  Tifa turned to see Cait Sith
standing behind her.

  "Hey!  How long have you been waiting there?" demanded Tifa, upset that she had been
overheard.

  "Now now, don't worry, I'm not the real Cait Sith, I'm Cait Sith 1, the one that died
inside the lack Pyramid, I've been assigned to be your guardian angel!"

  "Yeah, uh, right, so have you been in Cid's liquor again?" questioned Tifa.

  "It's true, I've come to show you what life would be like without you around," replied
Cait Sith.  "Come now, take my hand, and we'll fly to a world where you never exhisted."
Cait Sith extended a Moogle arm.

  "Sure why not, I'm not doing anything else," said Tifa, as she reached out and took hold
of the Moogle's fist.

  Suddenly everything became hazy and the deck of th eHighwind dissapeared.  Then Tifa found
herself in a strange padded white room.  A man was sitting in the middle strapped to a chair
in a straight jacket.  The man was mumbling to himself in  barely audible tone.

  "...Fuckity, fuck, fucker fuck FUCK fuckity fuckity shit fuck fuckfuck, ass shit fucking
whore, fuckity bitch shit fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck..." mumbled the man.

  "Who's this?" asked Tifa.

  "This is what happened to Cid.  Without you to keep him calm.  He and Cloud got in a huge
fight and without a moderator Cid ended up, uh.. let me get this right," Cait Sith pulled
out a note card before continuing,"and I quote, Ramming this fucking spear so far up your
fucking ass it tears a big ass gaping hole in your fucking skull that I will fill with
mother fucking dynamite and then light with a fucking ass blowtorch, end quote.  It was
quite graphic actually."

  "Eeewwwee...  That's terrible.  Poor Cloud," cried Tifa.

  "Yes, but those two are not the only ones to get it bad," said Cait Sith, everything
became foggy again then they appeared in a small house in Midgar Barret was sitting in a
chair watching the news on the television.

  "Damn it, I can't stand that blasted Shinra!  If only someone would stand up to them. 
Someone should fight against them.  I wish I could do somethin'.  If only I had some, some
bar wench or somethin' to watch Marline while I was busy taking on the Shinra.  But it'll
never happen.  Not in this life time."

  "Poor Barret never got to see his dream.  Shinra will eventually overrun the planet now. 
People everywhere will suffer.  But ti doesn't matter.  Because Tifa isn't important enough
to exhist," said Cait Sith.

  "I'm sorry..." said Tifa, she hung her head in sadness.

  "Wait, look here," Cait Sith pointed ot a newspaper sitting on a table in Barret's home. 
The hedline read 'Vampire wiped out population of Nibleheim'.

  "Vampire?  Vincent?"

  "Yes, he woke up and went on a murderous rampage, because your group wasn't there to give
him direction."

  "Wait," said Tifa, "Vincent isn't a Vampire."

  "Bah, details details, it could have happened," replied Cait Sith.

  "You aren't just making this up as you go along are you?" asked Tifa.

  "What if I am?  are you questioning the power of the dead?  we have killing rights you
know, all you have to do is screw up and bam!"

  "Whatever, what about Red and Yuffie?  Surely they turn out ok."

  "Ok, they turned out pretty well, they have children now," answered Cait Sith.  Tifa was
shocked at this.  "Oh, not together of course," finished Cait sith, noticing Tifa's
surprise.

  "There's more.  Come now," Cait Sith took her hand and everything became foggy once more,
they reappeared elsewhere in Midgar.

  "Hey, this is Aeris' church!" exclaimed Tifa.  "Surely Aeris turned out well."

  "Oh, she's quite successful.  You see, she took her true calling when she didn't join up
with your group.  She transformed the church here into a brothel," explained Cait Sith.

  "WHAT?!" cried out Tifa.

  "It's was really successful.  Put the Honey Bee inn right out of buisness in a week."

  "Cid always said Aeris was a whore, but we never beleived him.  I can't beleive he was
right."

  "Beleive it you fuck, I'm allways right!" said Cait Sith, his tone of voice becoming
rather rough.

  "What did you say?  That's seemed so unlike you Cait Sith," asked Tifa in surprise at the
change.

  "Uh, nothing, I said uh.. nothing," Cait Sith stepped back innocently.

  "Wait a minute You said 'I' when I talked about Cid, You aren't Cait Sith!" creid out
Tifa.

  "Fuck, of course I'm fucking Cait Sith, I look like him don't I?" asked Cait Sith.

  "That means nothing," answeredTifa, as she stamped forwrd and grabbed the Moogle.

  "Stop that!  Don't open that fucking hatch!" cried out Cait Sith.  But it was too late. 
Tifa had allready ripped open the suit to reveal Cid sittign within the mechanical Moogle
body.  The illusion aound them faded back to the Highwind.

  "Why did you do this Cid?" demanded Tifa.

  "I needed to convince you of the truth.  That bitch Aeris is a fucking whore I tell you!"
screamed Cid.

  "Look, you're wrong, live with it," sid Tifa.  She then turned and walked off, leaving Cid
alone on the deck of the Highwind.

  "FUCK!" screamd Cid.