Beast Wars Stuff
McDonald’s Toys
By Lord Chaos (Josh Miller)

After working at McDonald’s for almost three years, I acquired at least one of every toy they gave out in the happy meals, with the exception of the beanie babies since I would have probably been fired if they caught me ‘borrowing’ one of their precious beanies. I did buy a few beanies though, however this isn’t about beanie toys, it’s about Beast Wars toys. During the first set of toys I wasn’t in to Beast Wars as much as I was during the Transmetals set. I have two of all but the Manta and the Rhino and three of TM Dinobot. These are pretty cool considering their origins. In this section are reviews and ideas involving these seven toys. Also, at the end is a review of my one older McTransformer I have.

Since these toys don’t have tech specs I have decided to exersise my writing skills and come up with some. Also, I’ll add suggestions for alternate names. Again, also, While playing around with these toys once I created a Gestalt form involving six of them. I’ll do a thing for the gestalt to just for fun.

SKIMMER (Manta Ray)
Maximal (I think) Sea Warrior
Str: 7 Int: 5 Spd:8 Edr: 7 Rank: 5 Cur: 9 FP: 2 Skl: 7

Skimmer is one of the few warriors, Predacon or Maximal, that call the sea home. This is all the more reason for this Maximal to fight. Skimmer will often lie in wait, buried in the sand of the sea floor, ready to transform and pummel any Predacons unfortunate enough to pass by. Skimmer possesses no ranged weapons and instead relies on speed and cunning in hand to hand combat when either on land or in the water.

BEAST MODE
Skimmer’s beast mode is a manta ray. His primary coloring is Dark blue with kind of an aqua coloring around the edges. It’s similar to two other Manta figures I can think of, Depth Charge of Beast Wars, and Manray of Ninja Turtles. There is a considerable amount of noticeable undercarriage.

ROBOT MODE
Transformation is easy. Pull out the legs and rotate them forward then fold back the manta head. The robot mode kind of sucks. The legs are too long and too stiff. At least the head rotates and the arms move in a fairly normal fashion. Overall it’s an OK toy for its cheap price. And it comes with fries, a drink, and your choice of nuggets, a hamburger, or a cheeseburger!

PANTHERO (Black Cat, Cheetah? Panther?
Maximal Night Patrol
Str: 4 Int: 5 Spd:9 Edr: 9 Rank: 3 Cur: 5 FP: 3 Skl: 4

Panthero prefers the night where his dark coat allows him to almost disappear. He keeps mostly to himself outside of the Maximal base and prefers the company of Tigatron, whom he greatly admires and respects, above the other Maximals. His high endurance and high speed allow him to make long patrol runs to the edges of the Maximal territory. When in robot mode Panthero uses his claws to tear through any Predacons that get in his way.

OK so I didn’t do a great job on his tech specs. It was all I could do to put down something GOOD. I kept wanting to include something like, "Due to a genetic defect, Panthero’s robot mode is really stupid. Anyway…

BEAST MODE
If you have to use one of the modes, use this one. The legs are very posable (I have no idea how to spell this word… grrr….). The white belly kind of stinks since it detracts from his cool black fur. Plus the colored legs re kind of annoying. That’s all just undercarriage though. The tail plastered to the back is kind of weird too but what can you expect.

ROBOT MODE
The robot mode it really gimpy. Basically stand up the cat and fold back the head. While it’s the most posable of all seven toys, the hands are stupid and it is very back heavy. As a result, it can’t be posed at all without falling over. I suppose with the dumb looking hands he could be doing a karate chop or something. This form completely makes this toy suck. It could have been cool but it’s probably my least favorite toy, maybe second least, behind the rhino.

Lug (Rhino)
Maximal Assault Trooper
Str: 8 Int: 3 Spd:4 Edr: 9 Rank: 4 Cur: 6 FP: 3 Skl: 5

Lug is pure brute strength. He isn’t the most intelligent Maximal but he can still use his head to break through almost any barrier. Lug charges into battle smashing or trampling all Predacons he encounters. He makes up for his lack of ranged weapons with his sharp horn in Rhino mode.

BEAST MODE
Once again, a decent Beast mode and worthless robot mode. Personally, the robot is more useful than the beast and I would have had a bunch of cool robots with crappy beast forms than the way it is, the other way around. There is almost no undercarriage in this mode unless you look at it from the bottom. Unfortunately, despite what I said in the description. His small size makes the beast form useless, and I doubt he could knock down a small tree much less a Predacon warrior.

ROBOT MODE
Oh man, I think I heard it described the best by someone else in the following way: "It looks like a rhino with a robot shoved up its bum." The legs extend from the rhino’s butt and the arms are part of the front legs, then the rhino head folds back. The legs aren’t posable at all and don’t hold the weight of the robot well at all. Plus they have two positions, leaning forward and leaning back. The arms are WAY too short. I have an idea on how to help this guy out by reattaching the arms so they fold out from the other end of the rhino legs. Then the legs would become the upper arms and it would be halfway cool… maybe.

PINCER (Beetle)
Predacon Demolitions
Str: 6 Int: 5 Spd: 6 Edr: 7 Rank: 4 Cur: 10 FP:7 Skl:6

Pincer uses his small size to sneak behind enemy line to set explosives at critical points. He then uses his hard shell to protect against the resulting explosion. This leaves him ready to attack surviving Maximals with his eye beams. He is fearless in battle, which sometimes gets him into situations against hopeless odds. Also his hot temper causes him to get in many fights with his fellow Predacons.

BEAST MODE
While it’s not very posable (there’s that word again!!! Augh!!), his beast mode is pretty cool. This is the first one of these toys I’ve modified. I painted his pincers white so they stand out from the rest of his body. I have been meaning to do some detailing on the legs too but have never gotten around to it.

ROBOT MODE
This toy has the coolest robot mode of all the toys. It’s not too overly posable but it looks nice. I didn’t like the neon green legs so I painted them gray to match the arms. I have yet to come up with a good way to make the arms more posable. Adding some kind of hinge would probably be the best way.

STINGER (TM Scorponok)
Predacon Weapons Specialist
Str: 6 Int: 8 Spd:6 Edr: 7 Rank: 6 Cur: 5 FP:8 Skl:7

Despite his small size, he is feared on the battle field by many. From the powerful blasts he launches from his tail in beast mode, to the shots from his hand blaster in robot mode he can cause heavy damage to any opponent. Megatron often calls on Stinger when he needs some new weapon against the Maximals. Stinger is a master in all types of ranged weaponry.

BEAST MODE
The beast mode of this toy is pretty cool looking. The real drawback is in its lack of posability. The claws can rotate slightly in or out and that’s about it.

ROBOT MODE
The Robot mode looks pretty cool as well but once again a lack of posability detracts from the toy. His only possible function would be to wave his arms in the air to attract enemies. Also the screws in his chest and stomach look out of place. However, many of this toy’s faults are easily fixed.

MY MODIFICATIN PROJECT
I am currently working on making this toy much cooler. I have already painted black detailing on his back, tail, and inner arms which greatly improved the look. However, the bigger part is in the actual modifications. I have already made his arms more posable and I’m currently working on his tail. On his arms, I cut both of them off with a utility knife at the place where the shoulder pad things meet the rest of the arm. This is a noticeable point when looked at from the top. I then took two small self tapping screws and screwed them in most of the way into the shoulders, on the newly cut flat side. Then on the newly cut flat side of the arms, I used a hand drill to put a hole in each just smaller in diameter than the screws and approximately the as deep as the screws sticking out of the shoulders. Then you just stick the hole drilled over the head of the screws. If it isn’t quite flush then just pull the arms off again and screw in the screws a little more.

Also I am working of making the tail articulated. I have cut off each of the four sections of the tail and I’m going to drill holes through each piece and put a wire through the whole length. Next I plan on creating a vehicle mode of a dragster based on a few pictures I’ve seen that other people have done. I hope to keep the transformation intact too.

WIDOW (TM Black Arachnia)
Predacon Surveillance
Str: 4 Int: 7 Spd:7 Edr: 6 Rank: 5 Cur: 6 FP:7 Skl:8

Not only does Widow benefit from the strength of Transmetal armor, but her armor also has also allows her to remain invisible to sensors, Maximal or Predacon, when in beast form. This makes it easy for her to infiltrate the Maximal base for spying or sabotage jobs. It also allows her to hide from Megatron when she doesn’t feel like following his orders. When discovered she will quickly transform and let loose a barrage from her eight rapid fire cannons on the ends of her legs.

Well that one wasn’t too bad.

BEAST MODE
The primary colors are metallic blue and orange. Like the regular Black Arachnia this toy features the hourglass symbol on the back of the spider. It would look much cooler with some touch up painting on the details. Also the spider body has three distinct segments. Spiders only have two really, insects have three.

ROBOT MODE
The robot mode is almost identical to Pincer’s The legs pull out and bend at the knees and the beast head folds down to make the chest. This is the best transformation design of all seven toys. However the "furry" purple organic parts look kind of weird and the small chest plate makes the middle look funny and hollow. However, this toy and the beetle are the only two I use fairly consistently of the seven.

MY MODIFICATION PROJECT
Since my brother cut off two of the legs on one of the two TMBA toys I have I was thinking of combining my extra beetle and this toy to make a Transmetal beetle. I tried for a while to get the beast heads off with out breaking them but apparently they are on there a lot better than they look. I would just unscrew the bodies but like most McDonald’s toys they use those weird triangle hex screws. Also I’ve been working on other stuff. The combining would basically be switching the beast heads and then adding some paint.

Raptor (TM Dinobot)
Maximal Infantry
Str: 7 Int: 6 Spd:7 Edr: 8 Rank: 4 Cur: 9 FP:3 Skl:8

Blah Blah, this toy is boring, whatever….

Nice description huh?

BEAST MODE
The beast form is definitely the better of the two forms. It’s posability is limited to hind leg rotation and while the legs move independently of each other, the only way it will stand is if they are in the same position.

ROBOT MODE
The robot mode sucks almost as bad as the rhino. The dino head doesn’t fold back all the way so he has this huge green hole thing above his head. The arms are molded into the ‘wings’ that open. You’d probably be better off just using his dino arms as the robot arms. To make things worse the tail limits the ways he can stand up, so he’s always slightly hunched over. Plus the way the dino arms stick out, he looks like he’s waving holding his arms out and yelling ‘boo!’ to someone. It just looks really cheesy. Surprisingly I have more of this guy than anyone else.

INTIMIDATOR
Super Gestalt
Str: 9 Int: 6 Spd:4 Edr: 9 Rank: 3 Cur: 6 FP:10 Skl:7

Despite that they are on different teams and often fight against each other, these six warrior combine to form one mega warrior, almost good enough to take out other opponents! Despite his mismatched look and weak hinges, Intimidator still manages to intimidate his opponents who are busy trying to figure out what the hell the thing that is attacking them is supposed to be!

OK so I decided to do a goofy one for this. The whole thing is kind of a goofy idea I created off the top of my head. I was thinking to myself one day, ‘this black cat thing is pretty stupid but it has a lot of articulation. So I though maybe If I attached the other McToys to it, I could create something cool! Well of course while sitting in my car between classes and eating lunch, and not actually having the toys present, helped make my impression of this guy look much better. And when I put it together it required more rubber bands than your average combining transformer should have. Also it became so unstable that it lost all posability. Well anyway, here’s how Intimidator is formed. This will require five thin rubber bands and all the McBeast Wars toys except Scorponok.

First wrap two of the rubber bands around the legs of each, the Manta and the Beetle, until they are relatively tight. Then take the Panther, in robot form, and stick his left arm in the rubber band on the Manta’s legs. Slide the rubber band up more than halfway to help it stay on better. The Manta should be in Manta form. This becomes the Gestalt’s "Shield Arm". Then take the beetle, with his legs folded in, and do the same thing on the Panther’s right arm. Fold the beetle’s beast head down as far as it will go and then open the beetle’s arms/beetle legs all the way. This is the Gestalt’s "Claw Arm". This finishes the Gestalt arms. Now take the rhino in rhino form. Sit him standing on his butt. Rotate the hind legs until they point away (toward the rhino back). Fold the frond legs till they point down. Now wrap one of the rubber bands around the rhino head at the base of the neck. Then open the head and stick the panther’s left leg into the rhino head. The rubber band should hold the panther leg pinched between the rhino’s beast head and his robot head. Note: this leg will be positioned sort of behind the body. Next take the Dinobot in Beast mode. Wrap a rubber band around behind the back of the dino neck and through the dino front claws. Do this about four times or more as needed. Now this is the hardest part. Take two of the rubber band ‘strands’ from each side and cross them in the middle to make a loop, sort of a figure eight with three circles. Now stick the right panther leg in the middle loop. The rubber band should hold it in place.

Now, if you want to use the panther robot head as the Gestalt head, or don’t have a TMBA then you’re done. To make the Gestalt more ‘menacing’ rubberband the TMBA in beast form to the top by wrapping the rubber band around between the middle two arachnid legs and under the hinge where the panther head meets the panther body when folded back. Then rotate the spider head down slightly. This is the Gestalt head. If done correctly it will stand under it’s own power. The dino leg will be forward and the rhino leg will probably be set back a little. This gives it sort of a permanent ‘action stance’. It may be possible to use Scorponok as a weapon by having the ‘claw’ grip his tail and hold him like a gun.

FRY HORSE… THING
Maximal Decoy/ Pet
Str: 1 Int: 2 Spd:1 Edr: 9 Rank: 1 Cur: 2 FP:0 Skl:0

While this bot possesses no robot form, it does possess a sort of dog, horse, beast form thing. It could be considered a pet of one of the others. While sporting no weapons of any kind, Little ability to run, no viable skills, little intelligence and little strength, it does posses an amazing amount of endurance and is often used to draw enemy fire in battle. It does posses and alternate form as a carton of tasty McDonalds fries, The Fries Ameica Loves!

BEAST MODE
Uh… whatever, this toy is pretty old I think. A friend of mine that worked with me had a few others. One was a drink that turned into sort of a dinosaur, I think he had a Big Mac and another that was either Hot Cakes or Nuggets, that both transformed into some sort of mutant animals. This one is some sort of horse I think. Next to the real toys it look like a little puppy.

‘FRIES MODE’
Surprisingly the transformation is more complex than the other McTransformers. Actually going from Fry mode is. You flip out the head, flip out the tail, and then pull down the legs. The coloring is red with yellow fries. It has a picture of the McDonald’s logo in the middle. The Fry mode is action packed! It just sits around waiting for some one to eat him. Maybe the fries are poison or something. Yeah, poison, that’s got to be it.